IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Topic: The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed.

Topic: The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed.
#topic #tables #information #police #budget #area #britain #money
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The provided table and pie charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
 the data about
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 between 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen the total
budget
Use synonyms
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
every
Use synonyms
sources
Change to a singular noun
source
show examples
 increased in 2018 compared to 2017,
however
Linking Words
, it must be
notice
Correct your spelling
noted
show examples
 that in 2018 the whole spending which was for salary of police
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased significantly
while
Linking Words
 technologies
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 when buildings and transport remained stable. Police
budget
Use synonyms
 had grown
gradially
Correct your spelling
gradually
, from 304.7m to 318.6m
overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
sources
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 changed, respectively.
For instance
Linking Words
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government showed
minimally
Change the adverb
minimal
show examples
 growth to 177.8m from 175.5m.
Whereas
Linking Words
, other
sources
Use synonyms
 jumped to only half of
million
Correct article usage
a million
show examples
, from 38m to 38.5m.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it
mus
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
 to
notice
Verb problem
noted
show examples
 local taxes considerably rocketed compared to
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government and other
sources
Use synonyms
, climbing from just more than 90m to
sligthly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 more than 100m. The spending of the
budget
Use synonyms
 changed dramatically at that time. Salaries that had 3 quarters of all total spending, declined for just less than 70% in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, technologies
Correct your spelling
risen
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 for 75% of its own, from 8% to 14%,
however
Linking Words
 the
budget
Use synonyms
 for buildings and transport stagnated
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, sources, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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