The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit , during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit , during the same two periods. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
the amount of of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
to
Ashdown
Museum
during the
year
before and after
refurbishment
.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the charts show the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
of surveys asking
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
visitors
Change noun form
visitors'
visitor's
show examples
satisfaction .
Overall
, the
number
of
visitors
to
Ashdown
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
from the
year
before to the
year
after
refurbishment
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, the results of surveys of
visitors
Fix the agreement mistake
visitor
show examples
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
show some important points which are the
number
of
visitors
who are very
statisfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
increased sharply ,
while
the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
who are dissatisfied
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
sharply,
while
the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
who are dissatisfied
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
sharply in the same period of time. It can be seen from the table down that the
number
of
visitors
rose from 74.000 to 92.000 during the
year
before and after the
refurbishment
. Looking in more
detial
Correct your spelling
detail
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the charts below which show the results of surveys of visitor satisfaction. The
number
of people who are very satisfied rose
signfiently
Correct your spelling
significantly
from 15 to 35 in the
year
after. There was
then
a steep rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
who
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
statisfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
visiting
Ashdown
Museum
from around 30
vistior
Correct your spelling
visitors
in the before
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
of
refurbishment
to around 40
visitors
in the after of
refurbishment
. So these are showing similar trend from The charts.
In contrast
, The
number
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
who are dissatisfied
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Ashdown
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
sharply from 40 to 15 during the period given.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who are very dissatisfied
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
levelled out before plummeting to a low of 15. One notable point is that the
number
of
visitor
Change to a plural noun
visitors
show examples
who were not given any response
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
before and after
refurbishment
had
equal
Add an article
an equal
show examples
number
(5).
Submitted by khulood.92 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, ashdown, museum, year, refurbishment, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • very satisfied
  • satisfied
  • neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
  • dissatisfied
  • very dissatisfied
  • survey results
  • comparison
  • impact
  • effectiveness
  • visitor experience
  • overall improvement
  • increase/decrease in visitors
  • positive feedback
  • negative feedback
  • visitor survey
  • survey period
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