IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, acquiring knowledge was only possible through books. But nowadays through the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages

#books #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
by gone
Correct your spelling
bygone
show examples
 era, learning was limited to books, but now it is achieved via the
internet
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, the advantages of learning from the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 are greater than the disadvantages. There are those who believe that acquiring knowledge from the
internet
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 likely the risk of misleading
information
Use synonyms
. It means that using the
internet
Use synonyms
 to obtain facts that we need should cross-check with various sources to ensure it is correct, as it could have negative effects on our minds and lead
as
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 astray.
For example
Linking Words
,
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 the knowledge of history about culture of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
, not only we should research on the website but
also
Linking Words
 we
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 follow and read multiple scientific articles on the topic because we could learn things incorrectly and even pass on the
information
Use synonyms
 to others, which could have negative consequence. So as to stop ourselves
accepting
Change preposition
from accepting
show examples
 everything read easily. It is justifiably argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 provides quick and easy access to
information
Use synonyms
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means that we can just search online and get what we want to know,
in
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
, it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 find
information
Use synonyms
 instantly.
For example
Linking Words
, if you want to learn about space, you can search online and find articles, videos, and pictures right away.
This
Linking Words
 makes learning much faster and more convenient.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 offers a wide range of
information
Use synonyms
 on any topic. You can learn from various sources, including experts, videos, and interactive websites, which can make learning more interesting and fun.
furthermore
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 helps us learn
together with
Linking Words
 people from all over the world. We can join online classes and talk to people from different countries and we always can be up to date. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 to learning from the
internet
Use synonyms
, like the risk of incorrect
information
Use synonyms
, I believe the advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as quick access to
information
Use synonyms
 and the ability to learn with others globally, are much more significant.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically into the next.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Small errors can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear stance on the topic. This is great for giving your essay a strong framework.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of learning from the internet.
task achievement
You have used examples to back up your points, which aids in illustrating your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratization, accessibility, socioeconomic barriers, dissemination, real-time, misinformation, misleading, necessitating, over-reliance, traditional knowledge sources, collaborative learning, interactive, engaging educational experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: