IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

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Over the globe most
animals
Use synonyms
 die
due to
Linking Words
 natural processes,
in other words
Linking Words
, every alive will die one day and
therefore
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 there is no need to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 some
preserving
Correct word choice
preventive
show examples
 action to save them by government and private companies.
Although
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 there is some truth to that statement I completely disagree with it because
animals
Use synonyms
 die not only their nature but
also
Linking Words
 human's harmful
actions
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. The first thing is that illegal hunting is the main reason for the extinction of
animals
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, most people do not prefer to get special permissions from the government
due to
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 long procedures, paying state taxes for consent and avoiding some supervision.
For example
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, recent research in Africa revealed that most
animals
Use synonyms
 are killed
due to
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 the illegal
actions
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 of poachers especially some unique sorts of tigers, elephants and
also
Linking Words
 wild birds. To deal with
this
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problem
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 humans must create zoos to preserve them from poachers attack. Another contributing factor is that
also
Linking Words
 humans and their
actions
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 which that
actions
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 affect the environment. These
actions
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 like throwing into the ocean some metal residues, pockets of goods and
also
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 fuels, all other things are harmful to the aquatic
world
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 and
also
Linking Words
 building factories and their pollutive fumes, cutting down forests and main factors for the extinction of
animals
Use synonyms
 which live in forest or cold continents. Polar bears are a good example of
this
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. Scholars said that after two decades we cannot see polar bears in Antarctica because of increasing temperatures and thawing icebergs.
Last
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 but not least, it is a fact that
animals
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 die in one day because it is natural true and all humanity but in the contemporary
world
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 we can blame these catastrophic changes
humanity
Change preposition
on humanity
show examples
.
Solve
Wrong verb form
Solving
show examples
this
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problem
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 is indispensable if humanity does not find the keys to
this
Linking Words
problem
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 not only
animals
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 but
also
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 all
world
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 might be extinct. In conclusion, I once restate my position, it is true that animal species are becoming extinct and
that is
Linking Words
 a natural process. But
that is
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 only one reason for extinction and to tackle that
problem
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world
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 organizations should create relevant opportunities to preserve not only rare
animals
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 all of them.

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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are clearly presented and comprehensively developed. Some points could benefit from further elaboration, and certain arguments may need more clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother logical flow. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor language inaccuracies, especially with word choices and sentence structure. They can distract from your main points.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help substantiate your points.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, offering clear argumentation in disagreement with the statement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic clearly, and the conclusion reinforces the main arguments well.
task achievement
Effective use of relevant specific examples, such as illegal hunting and environmental pollution, though they could benefit from more elaboration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
What to do next:
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