Holding international game Such as Olympic games is an exciting event. Some people think it has positive effect while others argue it is waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays there are many competitions
helding
Correct your spelling
held
around the world
such
as
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
that every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
that it has a pros impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
, others see that
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
show examples
event and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of money.I firmly believe that the statement that supports the
events
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
more beneficial to the
community's
Change the noun form
communities
community
show examples
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
one word,There is a significant
reasons
Change the noun form
reason
show examples
why
people
think that international
events
Add a verb
events are
events were
show examples
more protective.First of all, these types of
events
can encourage
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
intreast
Correct your spelling
interest
and
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
ability.
For example
,every individual in the world has skills that there really good at
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so if the government supports their intelligence and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
some
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
in order to help them to improve and enhance their abilities.
Additionally
, it will help the society to improve economically, and all tourists want to
visits
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
to watch these
events
.
On the other hand
, some communities believe that it wasting of
moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
show examples
and time. To
Correct your spelling
begin
bigen
Correct your spelling
begin
with,
people
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
resbonsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
to do
such
as academic work and career
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
development so
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
everybody
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the time to participate in these
events
or even watch
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
, nowadays individuals aim to get high masters
instead
of
involved
Add a missing verb
being involved
show examples
in games.
For instance
, all my
family
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family's
show examples
goals
to
Add a missing verb
are to
show examples
get into
univarstiy
Correct your spelling
university
and get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
creer
Correct your spelling
career
and
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education including me.
To conclude
,
This
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
of
discussions
Fix the agreement mistake
discussion
show examples
depends on the
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
,but the majority of communities are with to hold games and
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
in each country
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
involved in these
events
. Personally, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that holding
this
Change the determiner
this event
these events
show examples
events
not only will help the individuals to discover and
develp
Correct your spelling
develop
their skills but
also
will help the society to
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
.
Submitted by aledailah2003 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to connect your ideas with appropriate linking words. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' instead of 'on one word' can create clearer transitions between different parts of your argument.
task achievement
Try to include more detailed examples to support your points. For instance, provide specific instances of how international events have positively impacted local economies or how people have benefited from such events.
coherence cohesion
Review basic grammar and spelling rules to improve sentence construction. Errors such as 'holding' instead of 'held' and 'protective' instead of 'productive' can affect readability.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sufficient development to fully cover that idea. This makes your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion do a good job of framing the debate and expressing your own opinion clearly.
complete response
You have done well in including points on both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay demonstrates an understanding of both perspectives regarding international events, which is crucial for a comprehensive discussion.

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