Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions?

#people #career #life #time #situation

In today's materialistic lifestyle, individuals

thrive

Verb problem

strive

show examples

to balance their way of successful

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and personal lifestyle but certain factors have detrimental effects which

causes

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cause

show examples

problmes

Correct your spelling

problems

These

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This

show examples

essay outlines all the possible causes and an

efficasious

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efficacious

solution.

Firstly

maintaing

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maintaining

work loads

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workloads

show examples

and family events is the toughest thing

fot

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for

mankind because not always

working

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a working

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can attend festivals and special family days with having

busy

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a busy

show examples

schedual

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schedule

. Lack of time is the most possible problem in every hustling individual. To Exemplify, If a

person

able

Add a missing verb

is able

show examples

to attend

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal events or tries to

fullfill

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fulfil

all the

requirment

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requirements

to have

happy

Add an article

a happy

the happy

show examples

family tag,

him

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show examples

might have to compromise

work

. vice-versa

person

always juggles with

work

and gets promoted by compromising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal happiness.

Secondly

this

kind of balance can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental peace and

leads

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lead

show examples

to depression, anxiety or

agrression

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aggression

For instance

, people might

looses

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lose

show examples

temper over family or at

work

which

affect

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affects

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

job and family bond. To

undserstand

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understand

this

, An article was issued in

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

times

Capitalize word

Times

show examples

london

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London

show examples

, ratio of adult suicide cases has increased as an cosequence of immigrant students

fails

Correct subject-verb agreement

fail

show examples

to carry on

financial

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the financial

show examples

need

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needs

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to run

expenxes

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expenses

and homesickness. One of the effective

soltions

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solutions

takcle

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tackle

this

problem is

Time-management

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time management

show examples

. To elaborate

this

Change preposition

on this

show examples

, everyone should have

Correct article usage

a calender

show examples

calender

Correct your spelling

calendar

show examples

or diary to have to do list and make a note for

specific

Add an article

a specific

show examples

family

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

or important office

work

. By

maniaing

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managing

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

calender

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calendar

show examples

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

can adjust

timing

Add an article

the timing

show examples

of their special

occassion

Correct your spelling

occasion

occasions

and will

niether

Correct your spelling

not

forget

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

nor

Correct word choice

show examples

meetings.

Moreover

regular

Add an article

a regular

show examples

conversation with the spouse ,

childern

Correct your spelling

children

or parents can

mitiget

Correct your spelling

mitigate

the mental

work

stress.

In addition

, personal space should be

priortize

Correct your spelling

prioritized

prioritize

to have

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

mental life.

To conclude

, though certain factors can affect the balance between personal and

work

life,

soltion

Correct your spelling

solutions

such

as effective time management can mitigate the

problmes

Correct your spelling

problems

Submitted by tanvimprajapati97 on Tue Aug 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear response to the task, addressing both the problems and solutions associated with balancing a career and family life. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made. This would make your essay more compelling and validate your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

While your main points are relevant and well-structured, the logical flow can be improved. Some sentences are awkward and the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Pay attention to sentence structure and try to use more complex sentences for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes well. The introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion summarises the main points effectively. However, try to conclude with a more definitive statement or a call to action.

task achievement

Your essay clearly addresses the task, discussing both problems and solutions associated with maintaining a successful career and a happy family life, which is essential for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This structural clarity aids in better understanding for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Using computers and mobile phones in communication -> negative impact on reading and writing among young people, agree or disagree.

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole . Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?