Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions?

In today's materialistic lifestyle, individuals
thrive
Verb problem
strive
show examples
to balance their way of successful
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and personal lifestyle but certain factors have detrimental effects which
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
problmes
Correct your spelling
problems
.
These
Change the determiner
This
show examples
essay outlines all the possible causes and an
efficasious
Correct your spelling
efficacious
solution.
Firstly
,
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
work loads
Correct your spelling
workloads
show examples
and family events is the toughest thing
fot
Correct your spelling
for
mankind because not always
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
can attend festivals and special family days with having
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
show examples
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
. Lack of time is the most possible problem in every hustling individual. To Exemplify, If a
person
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal events or tries to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
all the
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirements
to have
happy
Add an article
a happy
the happy
show examples
family tag,
him
Change the pronoun
he
show examples
might have to compromise
work
. vice-versa
person
always juggles with
work
and gets promoted by compromising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal happiness.
Secondly
,
this
kind of balance can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental peace and
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
to depression, anxiety or
agrression
Correct your spelling
aggression
.
For instance
, people might
looses
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
temper over family or at
work
which
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
job and family bond. To
undserstand
Correct your spelling
understand
this
, An article was issued in
Correct article usage
the times
show examples
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
of
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
, ratio of adult suicide cases has increased as an cosequence of immigrant students
fails
Correct subject-verb agreement
fail
show examples
to carry on
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
to run
expenxes
Correct your spelling
expenses
and homesickness. One of the effective
soltions
Correct your spelling
solutions
to
takcle
Correct your spelling
tackle
this
problem is
Time-management
Correct your spelling
time management
show examples
. To elaborate
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
, everyone should have
Correct article usage
a calender
show examples
calender
Correct your spelling
calendar
show examples
or diary to have to do list and make a note for
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
family
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
or important office
work
. By
maniaing
Correct your spelling
managing
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
calender
Correct your spelling
calendar
show examples
,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
can adjust
timing
Add an article
the timing
show examples
of their special
occassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
occasions
and will
niether
Correct your spelling
not
forget
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
meetings.
Moreover
,
regular
Add an article
a regular
show examples
conversation with the spouse ,
childern
Correct your spelling
children
or parents can
mitiget
Correct your spelling
mitigate
the mental
work
stress.
In addition
, personal space should be
priortize
Correct your spelling
prioritized
prioritize
to have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
mental life.
To conclude
, though certain factors can affect the balance between personal and
work
life,
soltion
Correct your spelling
solutions
such
as effective time management can mitigate the
problmes
Correct your spelling
problems
.
Submitted by tanvimprajapati97 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, addressing both the problems and solutions associated with balancing a career and family life. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made. This would make your essay more compelling and validate your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are relevant and well-structured, the logical flow can be improved. Some sentences are awkward and the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Pay attention to sentence structure and try to use more complex sentences for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes well. The introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion summarises the main points effectively. However, try to conclude with a more definitive statement or a call to action.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the task, discussing both problems and solutions associated with maintaining a successful career and a happy family life, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This structural clarity aids in better understanding for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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