Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People have different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
about whether college
students
Use synonyms
can spend
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
to learn extra
subjects
Use synonyms
. In my view, the
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
is acceptable and it is not very useful to spend all
time
Correct pronoun usage
your time
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in
major
Add an article
a major
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. For university
students
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, qualifications
is
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are
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the most significant thing in our university life. So we must study hard and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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many
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much
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time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our major. But it doesn't mean that we must put all
the
Change the word
our
show examples
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
it. We can spend some time
in
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on
show examples
the
subject
Use synonyms
which we are interested in, equivalent to expanding our hobbies. The hobbies not only
can
Verb problem
apply
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reduce a part of
pressure
Correct article usage
the pressure
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in our study, but
also
Linking Words
expanding
Wrong verb form
expand
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the field of knowledge to make the knowledge structure more comprehensive.
In addition
Linking Words
, studying another
subject
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
career competitiveness and
extent
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extends
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career development paths. In the job market,
students
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with minor
subjects
Use synonyms
are often more competitive and can meet the requirements of multi-field positions.
For example
Linking Words
, finance
students
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who study in foreign languages have an advantage in foreign institutions. And the
another
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
may provide
a
Change the article
an
show examples
opportunity to enter
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
field
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
change the current
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. If the jobs
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
your main
subject
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
have a good employment environment, you can choose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a relatively good job.
Finally
Linking Words
, studying other
subjects
Use synonyms
can help you make more friends from different fields and expand your social circle. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
it has been clearly evidence that qualification is the most important in university,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
my own view is that we must
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
something
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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task achievement
Ensure each main point is clearly outlined and explained. Some of the arguments could be developed further with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs and ideas to ensure a smoother logical flow. For instance, use linking words and phrases effectively to connect ideas.
language accuracy
Minor grammatical errors are present that occasionally obscure meaning. Review singular/plural noun usage and verb tenses.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the task reasonably well, providing a balanced view and a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a cohesive end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant real-world examples, such as the reference to finance students learning foreign languages, to substantiate points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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