Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that there are a variety of university students
would
like to study more Correct pronoun usage
who would
interested
Replace the word
interesting
subjects
. Others insist that it is more significant to put all their time
and efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
to focus
on Change preposition
into focusing
one
qualification
. While
there are some benefits to learn
a number of Wrong verb form
learning
subjects
at the same time
, I believe that focusing on one
qualification
is better for us.
There is one
reason why it could be argued that we should learn more subjects
. On the one
hand, learning about other subjects
in addition
to main subjects
is a good method for us to broaden our horizon
. During our learning period, our memory always Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
keep
a stable and high level, which means that it allows us to remember all kinds of Change the verb form
keeps
knowledge
in
a higher speed. Change preposition
at
Therefore
, we are able to learn other subjects
as well as
our major subjects
at the same time
. We’re
ought to broaden our Unnecessary verb
We
horizon
, after which we have Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
a
understanding of some Change the article
an
un-known
Correct your spelling
unknown
informations
and learn more useful and Change the wording
information
pieces of information
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
knowledge
.
However
, I agree with those who believe that we’d better pay more attention
to our majority subjects
. On the other hand
, we can acquire knowledge
in greater depth when we give all our time
and attention
to studying for a qualification
. Nowadays, increasing subjects
require us to focus on research and learn key knowledge
, which will make it difficult for us to spend more free time
and attention
on other curriculum
. Change the wording
another curriculum
other curricula
For example
, to be a doctor, you should at least have a 5-year learning in medical science, then
you will have an opportunity to intern in hospital
. It takes a few more years of study and experience to become a successful doctor. Add an article
a hospital
Overall
, if you would like to deeply learning
your main subject, you’d better put your most Wrong verb form
learn
time
and attention
on
it and Change preposition
into
don’t
give up.
In conclusion, it seems to me that concentrating on Verb problem
not
one
qualification
could help us learn knowledge
deeply, which is more beneficial and important than learning various subjects
together.Submitted by fiasngs on
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coherence
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that all sentences serve a clear purpose. Some sentences might feel redundant or repetitive, which can affect the logical flow of the essay.
task response
Make sure to elaborate on examples and relate them back to the main argument more clearly. Offering detailed and specific examples can strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
coherence
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The ideas presented are generally clear and comprehensive, addressing both sides of the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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