Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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It is true that there are a variety of university students

would

Correct pronoun usage

who would

show examples

like to study more

interested

Replace the word

interesting

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

. Others insist that it is more significant to put all their

time

Use synonyms

and

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to focus

Change preposition

into focusing

show examples

one

Use synonyms

qualification

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

there are some benefits to

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

a number of

subjects

Use synonyms

at the same

time

Use synonyms

, I believe that focusing on

one

Use synonyms

qualification

Use synonyms

is better for us. There is

one

Use synonyms

reason why it could be argued that we should learn more

subjects

Use synonyms

. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, learning about other

subjects

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

to main

subjects

Use synonyms

is a good method for us to broaden our

horizon

Fix the agreement mistake

horizons

show examples

. During our learning period, our memory always

keep

Change the verb form

keeps

show examples

a stable and high level, which means that it allows us to remember all kinds of

knowledge

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

a higher speed.

Therefore

Linking Words

, we are able to learn other

subjects

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

our major

subjects

Use synonyms

at the same

time

Use synonyms

We’re

Unnecessary verb

show examples

ought to broaden our

horizon

Fix the agreement mistake

horizons

show examples

, after which we have

Change the article

show examples

understanding of some

un-known

Correct your spelling

unknown

show examples

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

and learn more useful and

diversity

Replace the word

diverse

show examples

knowledge

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I agree with those who believe that we’d better pay more

attention

Use synonyms

to our majority

subjects

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, we can acquire

knowledge

Use synonyms

in greater depth when we give all our

time

Use synonyms

and

attention

Use synonyms

to studying for a

qualification

Use synonyms

. Nowadays, increasing

subjects

Use synonyms

require us to focus on research and learn key

knowledge

Use synonyms

, which will make it difficult for us to spend more free

time

Use synonyms

and

attention

Use synonyms

other curriculum

Change the wording

another curriculum

other curricula

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, to be a doctor, you should at least have a 5-year learning in medical science,

then

Linking Words

you will have an opportunity to intern in

hospital

Add an article

a hospital

show examples

. It takes a few more years of study and experience to become a successful doctor.

Overall

Linking Words

, if you would like to

deeply learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

your main subject, you’d better put your most

time

Use synonyms

and

attention

Use synonyms

Change preposition

into

show examples

it and

don’t

Verb problem

not

show examples

give up. In conclusion, it seems to me that concentrating on

one

Use synonyms

qualification

Use synonyms

could help us learn

knowledge

Use synonyms

deeply, which is more beneficial and important than learning various

subjects

Use synonyms

together.

Submitted by fiasngs on Tue Aug 20 2024

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coherence

Try to avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that all sentences serve a clear purpose. Some sentences might feel redundant or repetitive, which can affect the logical flow of the essay.

task response

Make sure to elaborate on examples and relate them back to the main argument more clearly. Offering detailed and specific examples can strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.

coherence

The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

The ideas presented are generally clear and comprehensive, addressing both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Universities should accept equal number of males and females students in every subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.