Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antartic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

The travelling
Correct article usage
Travelling
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is a therapy for many people from their monotonous
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
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the current
time
Add a comma
time,
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many people prefer visiting locations
such
as
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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Desert in Africa or The beauty of
frozen
Correct article usage
the frozen
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Antartic
Correct your spelling
Antarctic
Ocean where survival is difficult. There are some advantages of travelling
such
Change preposition
to such
show examples
places
like
reserches
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researchers
researches
research
conducted and
thrillar
Correct word choice
a thrilling
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experience
with
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of
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exploring nature.
Moreover
,
this
could be challenging
as well as
tough for human needs which can be
disadvantage
Add an article
a disadvantage
the disadvantage
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of visiting
such
places
. The main merit is visiting unexplored land is
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for the researcher and the
explorar
Correct your spelling
explorer
for discovering deep theories for study.
For instance
, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
there are many
island
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islands
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where
fosils
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fossils
foils
are been discovered of extinct species which existed before human
llife
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life
.
Additionally
, many wildlife professional photographers and
the
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apply
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vlogers
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vloggers
get
an
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apply
show examples
excillent
Correct your spelling
excellent
content for their projects,
such
people are well experienced and prefer to travel
harsh
Change preposition
to harsh
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weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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places
. There are demerits of travelling to
this
unfacillitated
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facilitated
area where there is bare survival without food and
accomodation
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accommodation
. From
own
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my own
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experience from
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a
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trip to The Himalayas, which is one of the highest
mountain
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mountains
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in
world
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the world
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, there is no public transportation available far from town. we have to cross huge jungles with unpattern pathways and for food need to depend on wild fruits and vegetation.
Additionally
, there are no
health care
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healthcare
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Institution
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Institutions
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for
emergency
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emergencies
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,
also
no network connections which is most important for communication with family and friends. In conclusion, exploring
places
where conditions are difficult has been beneficial for new discoveries and for taking
thrillar
Correct your spelling
thriller
experience with enjoyment in life,
while
on other hand there are cons
such
as difficult survival without facilities and without network connection which is most crucial in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
world for
nevigation
Correct your spelling
navigation
and stay connected to close ones.
Submitted by varnibhatt2121 on

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task achievement
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement, which would better guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs for better flow. Use connectives like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'consequently' to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This clarity will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coeherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid confusion. Some sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors. This will also improve coherence.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing the topic and providing a balanced view of both benefits and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving it a sense of completeness.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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