The money spend by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do uyou agree or disagree?
Investing
on
Change preposition
in
curcial
public Correct your spelling
crucial
services
would be a better option for governments instead
of spend
their money on Change the verb form
spending
space
programmes
. I firmly agree with the statement that the authorityies
should prioritize public Correct your spelling
authorities
services
rather than space
programmes
.
To begin
with, the government's initiatives should be based on citizens
needsChange noun form
citizens'
citizen's
,
and must regulate its policies regarding Remove the comma
apply
the
public Correct article usage
apply
services
. Governments represents
the will of people within the country and Change the verb form
represent
therefore
they should address their important requriments
Correct your spelling
requirements
such
as hospitals and schools. Furthermore
, a nation who
Correct pronoun usage
that
want
to launch Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a space programme
space programmes
space
programmes
have
Verb problem
is
also
a wealthy and prosperious
nation Correct your spelling
prosperous
otherwise
rebels are inevetable for legitimacy
of the authority. Add an article
the legitimacy
For instance
, France
revolution Correct article usage
the France
occured
because of Correct your spelling
occurred
vast
majority of money wasted under Add an article
the vast
role
of Add an article
the role
monarcy
which Correct your spelling
monarchy
lead
Wrong verb form
led
a
famous revolt. Change preposition
to a
Thus
, it is essential to manage the expenditures for surviving
of a government, and the proper way to Replace the word
the survival
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
aim is to resolve public problems and needs.
Moreover
, space
programmes
are highly demanding for a countryies
Correct your spelling
countries
country
budged
and the Correct your spelling
budget
succes
is often not Correct your spelling
success
garanteeted
, so it is too risky to invest money on explorations Correct your spelling
guaranteed
besides
which Change preposition
apply
maybe
a financial burden for governments. Correct your spelling
may be
However
, there is reputation
for a country Add an article
a reputation
the reputation
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
accomplish
scientific progress. Correct subject-verb agreement
accomplishes
Hence
, it is acturally
a sense of Correct your spelling
actually
statue
for a rich country , for Correct your spelling
statute
instace
, Correct your spelling
instance
Correct article usage
the U.S.A
U.S.A
, to make observations on Correct your spelling
U.S.A.
space
. Nevertheless
, we cannot hinder the fact that people's necessitates outweight
the importance of Correct your spelling
outweigh
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
a
Change preposition
of a
space
programme.
In conclusion, public services
ought to be taken into account properly to assist their needs instead
of spending huge amounts of moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
in
Change preposition
on
space
programmes
which high- risk. The statue
that comes from a Correct your spelling
statute
devolopment
in science fields as Correct your spelling
development
space
programms
are not imperative for impoverished Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
coutries
.Correct your spelling
countries
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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a logical structure, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try using linking phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'In addition,' and 'However' more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and relevant. However, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the key points you will discuss, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main arguments.
task achievement
Your main points generally address the task, but some arguments lack sufficient detail and examples. Make sure to fully develop each point and provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, some sentences are too long and become difficult to follow. Break these sentences into shorter, clearer statements for better comprehension.
task achievement
Some of the examples you provided were relevant but could be more specific to enhance your argument. For instance, rather than mentioning 'a famous revolt,' you could elaborate on how public discontent directly impacted government legitimacy.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear statement of your position in the introduction.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of the importance of public services over space programs. This is a strong foundation for your argument.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion that frame your essay. This helps in giving your essay a complete structure.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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