IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that competitive sports have advantages for people from different groups and countries, while others believe that competitive sports only create problems between people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Competition in sport is a matter which has fueled considerable debate.
While
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 it is generally agreed that these competitions bring many advantages for
people
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 from many regions, areas and social spectrums, there are those who argue that these competitions only create hatred among
people
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 in these groups. Personally, I am inclined to support the former perspective. On the one hand, the position that competitors in
sports
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 are aiming for the best result is perfectly plausible for the main reason. The most important point is that rewards for winning the
game
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 are the target of any
sports
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 players nowadays and they are training every day for the goal with pressure from themselves
as well as
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 from the nation that they are representing.
As a result
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,
this
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 will create many physical and mental issues for the competitor, especially if they fail to achieve these goals. Attach
this
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 view is the Olympic
game
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that is
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 only hosted every 4 years and everyone must do their best for the gold medal as nobody wants to leave the
game
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 with an empty hand.
However
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, what has been left out of their consideration is that these games are created to help bond the nations and build unity among
people
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.
On the other hand
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, there are convincing arguments in favour of the advantages of competitive
sports
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. One obvious reason for these plays is the unity of the communities and the positive interaction of
people
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 in these games.
Furthermore
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,
sports
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 can compete in a healthy environment where competitors can cheer for the winners and not feel bad about themselves after losing a match if there is no
such
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 pressure or hatred from the fans. Another point of view of
this
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 discussion is the huge benefit that the host country can take advantage of.
For instance
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, an Olympic
game
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 in 2024 is not only a chance for France to present their cultures, cities, and
people
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 to the world, but
also
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 a chance for French
people
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 to make a huge profit from tourism, food and other economic benefits.
To conclude
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, a thorough discussion of
this
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 statement copes with both angles in a broader sense. In a more personal aspect, the support lends to the more on the fact that
although
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 the problems that
sports
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 competition can be various, its benefits are far more important and need to be encouraged more in the society.

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas or phrases to improve the clarity and coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents both views and the writer’s opinion, setting the stage for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay remains focused on the topic throughout and addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a complete response to the task.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive sports
  • Advantages
  • Unity
  • Friendship
  • Cultural exchange
  • Understanding
  • Physical health
  • Mental health
  • Life skills
  • Problems
  • Rivalry
  • Hostility
  • Inequality
  • Discrimination
  • Pressure
  • Stress
  • Opinion
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