IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table depicts the
percentage
 of individuals who spent their time on fourteen several types of activities in the region of the United Kingdom in 1982.
However
, the data is measured in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
, it can be seen clearly from the chart that
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
unemployed
Correct quantifier usage
number of unemployed
show examples
women
were involve
Change the verb form
were involved
show examples
 in housework
whereas
,
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 portion of
men
 were
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drinking. But,
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 proportion of both
men
as well as
women
 were active when it
comes
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to job hunting.
To begin
 with, in 1982, the
percentage
 of
women
 surpassed the
men
 in terms of shopping in the provided duration of morning which accounted for 26%, and in the afternoon with 17%.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the proportion of
men
 in decorating remained the same which was only 7% in the both given period.
Moreover
, a significant
percentage
 of
men
 spent their time on gardening, accounting for 14% and 13% in the mentioned period respectively, though
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negligible portion of
women
 participated in
this
 activity with only 2%
as well as
 3%.
Submitted by mahamudzisan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, women, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: