IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #information #features #comparisons
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The given table depicts the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of individuals who spent their time on fourteen several types of activities in the region of the United Kingdom in 1982.
However
Linking Words
, the data is measured in
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly from the chart that
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
unemployed
Correct quantifier usage
number of unemployed
show examples
women
Use synonyms
were involve
Change the verb form
were involved
show examples
 in housework
whereas
Linking Words
,
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 portion of
men
Use synonyms
 were
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drinking. But,
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 proportion of both
men
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 were active when it
comes
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to job hunting.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1982, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 surpassed the
men
Use synonyms
 in terms of shopping in the provided duration of morning which accounted for 26%, and in the afternoon with 17%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 in decorating remained the same which was only 7% in the both given period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a significant
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 spent their time on gardening, accounting for 14% and 13% in the mentioned period respectively, though
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negligible portion of
women
Use synonyms
 participated in
this
Linking Words
 activity with only 2%
as well as
Linking Words
 3%.
Submitted by mahamudzisan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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