IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The digrams give information about changes in a student accommodation

#digrams #information #changes #student #accommodation
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The given maps illustrate details about changes in a
student
Use synonyms
's building. It can be seen that space for natural beauty has been replaced by facilities to meet the students' demands.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the size of the building has been expanded slightly. Look at the main entrance, there is a new en-suite room located on the right side of the hallway which did not occur in 2010. The bathroom in the centre of the map and the
student
Use synonyms
 bedroom which is next to it have remained stable until now. On the Eastern side of the map, there is a kitchen that has not been reconstructed after 14 years. Another
student
Use synonyms
 bedroom which is below the kitchen has been added as
aconvenient
Correct your spelling
a convenient
 en-suite room. Going to the Northern, all the rooms on
this
Linking Words
 site have been shifted to
student
Use synonyms
 bedrooms to serve undergraduates' need for accommodation. Regarding to outside of the building, the garden in the Northwest has given way to make room for
student
Use synonyms
 bedrooms. A car park has been put in the Southern of the building to take the space of the previous garden
while
Linking Words
 the other garden has remained.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth. Adding connectives like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' can help.
coherence cohesion
Try to include a brief concluding statement that summarizes the main changes observed in the diagrams.
coherence cohesion
Work on describing changes in a clear sequence to avoid repetition and provide more clarity.
task achievement
Ensure to give a complete and detailed response to each observed change in the diagrams. Some changes could be more specifically explained.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the task by describing the major changes in student accommodation.
task achievement
The central ideas are presented with an attempt to organize them logically.
task achievement
The essay does mention specific locations and changes, which demonstrates the writer's effort to be specific.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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