You are temporarily moving to a new city for your job. You will be there for three months, and you would like to rent some accommodation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter •Tell them how long you are staying •Describe the type of accommodation you would like •Explain what facilities you will need nearby You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#city #job #three #months #rent #accommodation #office #•tell #•describe #type #•explain #facilities #addresses

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

letter to ask you about looking for accommodation in Riyadh city. I am going to stay in Riyadh next month from the beginning of August till October which is three months

due to

my job. during that time I would like to have a small apartment including a bedroom, a kitchen when I back from work I have to cook for myself, and

finally

a bathroom. My work is located near the metro station which means I want to stay near the metro station

due to

I don’t have a driver's license

moreover

, in Riyadh there is traffic

therefore

, I prefer to go to work by metro.

Also

if you can look for me an apartment near a supermarket, cafe, and library to study in a library it would be suitable for me. I am looking

Rephrase

forward to

show examples

hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Alex.

Submitted by luhana.chii on Sat Dec 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

While the overall structure is present, the letter could benefit from clearer paragraphing. Each paragraph should center around a single idea for improved coherence.

task achievement

Consider using a more formal tone in the greeting and closing. For example, 'I am looking forward to hearing from you' is more appropriate than 'I am looking to hearing from you'. Also, 'Yours sincerely' is correctly followed by a comma.

task achievement

Elaborate on each point with more detail to fully meet the task requirements, such as specifying the type of apartment and the importance of the requested facilities in proximity to the accommodation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

149 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you ‎think this has more advantages or disadvantages?‎

It is often said that the government spend too much money on the projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problem that are more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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