IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #members #parliament #european #countries #information #features #comparisons
The given line chart illustrates the proportion of female parliament members
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 five countries in Europe between 2000 and 2012.
Overall
, it can
be clearly see
Change the verb form
be clearly seen
show examples
 that Germany started
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the highest rates of women
parliament
Change preposition
in parliament
show examples
 in 2000,
while
 Italy
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 by the largest degree in 2012.
To begin
, in 2000 Germany had the highest proportion of female members around 33%, followed by Italy France and Belgium about 27% 25% 27% respectively. The
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of women in
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 was merely about 3%. Turning to Germany which had the same patterns of
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 2000 to 2008 around 35%,
then
, it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slowly rose from 2008 to 2012
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 37%.
On the other hand
, approximately 25% of members in France’s parliament were women, with a subsequent jump to reach a peak of around 37% in 2004 and a final increase from 30% in 2008 to 32% in 2012. Meanwhile, the figure for Belgium increased from 17% in 2000 to 28% in 2000 and levelled off towards the end of the period.
Submitted by khulood.92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: