The diagram shows the life cycle of the salmon.

The diagram shows the life cycle of the salmon.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram shows the life cycle of the salmon.
The illustration demonstrates the
Salmon
Use synonyms
's life
cycle
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.
It is clear that
Linking Words
the
Use synonyms
salmon s
Correct your spelling
salmon's
habitat changes as it grows.
Also
Linking Words
, each has to pass through many transformations
Overall
Linking Words
, the maximum
Cycle
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takes around 12 years. It lives in fresh
water
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and
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
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water
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. The
salmon
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tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
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to spend more time in the
sea
Correct your spelling
seawater
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water
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. Eggs of the
salmon
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are spawned in freshwater by the female spawning
salmon
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. Within 5 Months
, Alevin
Rephrase
later, Alevin
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hatches from the egg
of
Change preposition
apply
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which
Correct word choice
and
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the yolk
saw
Verb problem
apply
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becomes its food for many weeks. After 5 to 10 weeks, it grows and develops into a Fry with swimming organs, enabling it to swim to find food in freshwater. From the Fry Stage
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
takes months, it evolves into a Parr of which the finger markings on its body appear. Around 1 to 3 years later, the Parr grows into a Smolt.  At
this
Linking Words
stage, it joins the group and is headed to the open
water
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where more than half of its life
cycle
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is spent. The smolt becomes mature, mates and reproduces. The spawning
salmon
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needs to head back to the
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
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to spawn, and
this
Linking Words
takes up to only 2 weeks. If it is later than
this
Linking Words
, the
salmon
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dies.  All in all, the entire
cycle
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starts all over when the eggs are spawned,

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the ninth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, cycle, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the tenth paragraph.
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