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Band 3.5

Some feel it is a waste of time to plan for the future and it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #waste #time #plan #future #focus
As some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
 individuals believe and consider
future
 planning a time-wasting and suggest
to prioritize
Verb problem
prioritising
show examples
 their thoughts on the present.
What
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I fully agree
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 will explain
this
 in
this
 essay. First and foremost,
future
 planning consumes a high amount of psychological energy which prevents us from real-time task accomplishment
due to
 mental tiredness and lack of interest to continue.It's evident that overthinking or overplanning your
future
 will affect horribly on mental health which may lead to several issues
such
 as headaches and mental breakdowns,
additionally
 these symptoms might lead to a
further
 decrease in productivity and creativity in
future
.
Moreover
,
future
 expectations might
put on risk
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 your physical health as well in various ways which in some conditions is highly unwanted.Several examples can be given but the most popular nowadays is sleep loss which leads to various symptoms
such
 as nose bleeding or dizziness.In some cases, these physical signs might lead to actual diseases
for example
 high blood pressure or sometimes even flu. To summarize,I believe the
future
 goal-making process might lead to physical and psychological disadvantages in
future
 so it is recommended to focus on the present and not put yourself through given risks.
Submitted by momokani on

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task achievement
Your essay presents relevant arguments, but they are not fully developed. Providing more specific examples and details will enhance your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
There are frequent grammatical errors and sentence structure issues that can distract the reader and obscure your message. Consider reviewing and revising your sentence construction for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to this topic. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically structured, making it relatively easy to follow the flow of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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