In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In many cultures,

children

Use synonyms

are encouraged to believe that hard work guarantees success.

This

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essay will analyze both the benefits and drawbacks of promoting

this

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idea among

children

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. It is evident that setting a promising goal that

children

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expect brings several benefits.

Firstly

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children

Use synonyms

are more likely to concentrate on study grades rather than computer games or mobile phone games which would

take

Verb problem

have

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an adverse impact on their health,especially their

eyesights

Fix the agreement mistake

eyesight

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.Research has proved that having a vivid goal can make people more energetic and studious.Plus,adolescents generally have competitive awareness among peers if the eldership always

push

Change the verb form

pushes

show examples

them to do their best.Once

children

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surpass their competitors,a sense of gratification could promote

thier

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their

potential abilities.

This

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focus not only improves academic performance but

also

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fosters resilience and a competitive spirit.

Although

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offering

such

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informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

children

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provides certain advantages, it can

also

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result in several negative outcomes.

Children

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tend to focus more on consequences rather than enjoying the process.

For example

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chinese

Change the capitalization

Chinese

show examples

students always care about the grade ranking of each exam.

Although

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the student who gets the highest ranking in the competition,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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seems to be unsatisfied.The situation really strikes his self-confidence and deteriorative study

competitons

Correct your spelling

competitions

In addition

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，failure is an inevitable part of life.Take the remarkable celebrity Albert Einstein,

for example

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. He was unable to gain admission to a university because of his poor grades.

Moreover

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，the degree of effort is not the sole determinant of success，factors

such

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as accidents and luck

also

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play a role. In a nutshell, both perspectives carry certain validity. On a personal note, I am rather disposed to the belief that

children

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should concentrate on the process to facilitate better development.

fiasngsTue Aug 20 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding your introduction to provide a clearer outline of the main points you will discuss.

task achievement

Make sure to elaborate on your examples more deeply to give greater context and relevance.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the flow between your ideas by using more cohesive devices, such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in addition'.

coherence and cohesion

Break long sentences into shorter ones to enhance clarity and readability.

task achievement

Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which is a good approach to task response.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples, such as the case of Chinese students and Albert Einstein, which adds depth to your argument.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rapid development of communication(technology, such as smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices, some people think the disadvantages outweigh its advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Nowadays individual take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his/her family?