In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
There are always two sides
of
everything. The same goes for making Change preposition
to
children
believe that they can achieve everything if they try hard enough.People
admire it as a way to encourage children
to study hard to get what they want, and some seem to take it as a negative impact on the children
,if they fail to achieve their goals after trying hard, they will doubt their abilities or even give up.
It is undeniable that positive
view can encourage Correct article usage
a positive
children
to strive for their aims. The purpose of people
tell
them that they can get everything if they try hard enough is to inspire Wrong verb form
telling
children
to work hard
as they can.It can enhance their ability and Rephrase
as hard
self confidence
when they try hard enough.In their view,continuous Add a hyphen
self-confidence
efforts
can help them get
success.And when they find something they want,like new skills,good scores and new records,Verb problem
achieve
children
will strive to make improvement
.
A common criticism is that it is not an entirely correct idea,if you try hard enough,you can get something that you want, but not everything.And there are still a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
people
can’t
achieve something through their Correct pronoun usage
who can’t
efforts
.People
always emphasize the relationship between effort and success, and children
will keep it in mind.They expect to achieve everything after they try hard and even try their best. But not all the efforts
will get satisfied
outcome.Correct word choice
a satisfactory
Finally
what they got
is disappointing, and they doubt their ability, and even feel that since there is no good return on Wrong verb form
get
efforts
, they give up on themselves, and feel that life is hopeless.
In conclusion, children
are a
blank Correct article usage
apply
sheet
of paper, the Fix the agreement mistake
sheets
color
on it is completely determined by the adult, so we have to give the child the right positive values. Let them study in the right way and do whatever they want.Change the spelling
colour
Submitted by fiasngs on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages. To improve, try to include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, and it is easy to follow. However, pay attention to the transitions between paragraphs and within them. Using more linking words can help improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and avoid repetition. Try to use different ways to express your ideas to keep the reader engaged. This will help enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction provides a clear and relevant context for the discussion, setting the stage for the subsequent arguments.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are considered, which shows a balanced approach to addressing the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.