Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?

Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
people
have not been doing more activities at home or work
due to
the rapid advancement
robotics
Change preposition
of robotics
show examples
. From my point of view,
this
development is completely beneficial as
ot
Correct your spelling
it
has positively
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
time-discarding to do
tasks
.
Ot
Correct your spelling
On
the one hand, one of the negatives of
robots
taking over several
tasks
is the loss of jobs for
people
. Since,if all
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
done by
robots
, individuals will have no jobs and their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
can be
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
for the worse.
People
might lose essential skills and knowledge
due to
over-reliance on technology.
This
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to feelings of purpose loss, boredom and issues related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
mental health. What's more, automated systems might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
act in unforeseen ways that will
leading
Change the verb form
lead
be leading
show examples
to safety issues.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is why
robots
can be a bit dangerous if not properly designed and managed.
On the other hand
, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of
convenience
Fix the agreement mistake
conveniences
show examples
in
tasks
performed by
robots
.
For instance
,
robots
can handle dangerous or heavy
tasks
which helps reduce the risk of workplace injuries for human workers.
Along with
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
they can
also
increase production efficiency . Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products of robotics can carry out complex duties faster and more productive than
people
.
Furthermore
,
robots
can work continuously without breaks .
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is why now many companies are using
robots
instead
of hiring
people
.
Moreover
, they can assist with various works
such
as lifting heavy things or cleaning windows
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at large structures.
To conclude
,
although
robots
take up more
tasks
from
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
, it might be
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
positive way. Because they help
people
by performing heavy
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
activities that are challenging or risking
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar spelling
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch minor errors and typos. For example, there are a few spelling mistakes like 'ot' instead of 'it' and 'Ot' instead of 'On'.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using more cohesive devices such as transition words or phrases. This will help your essay read more smoothly and logically.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and that this idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence. This helps the reader understand the structure of your argument better.
task achievement
Increase the number of specific examples and support for your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a clearer understanding of the topic.
structure
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an ability to consider different perspectives.
task achievement
You have presented some clear and appropriate ideas, especially in highlighting the benefits and drawbacks of robots performing tasks at home and work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Humanoid
  • Machine learning
  • Task allocation
  • Operational costs
  • Manual labor
  • Disruptive technology
  • Ergonomics
  • Unemployment
  • Cybersecurity
  • Technological singularity
  • Redundant workforce
  • Innovation
  • Ethical considerations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: