Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefits, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Animals
are a key factor in different aspects of all creatures, not only human
but Fix the agreement mistake
humans
also
plants. Due to
the fact that they are on the verge of extinction, some people believe that they should not being
subjected to the desires of human beings. Change the verb form
be
However
, some conflict with this
notion and benefit from animals’
products. Change noun form
animals
This
essay will express both views and reveal my orientation towards these statements.
The vital role of animals
in human beings’ lives is universally acknowledged. Animals
provide some of the
mankind’s necessities, which are crucial nutrients. Correct article usage
apply
That is
, they are known as the source of some essential proteins in
which people require Change preposition
apply
them
to survive. Despite the fact that vegetables could be altered with them, it has been scientifically proven that vitamins and proteins in plants could not be a substitute for Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
beef and ham. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, humans’ lives entail consuming meat. Worth to mention
that recently insects as a substitute for Wrong verb form
mentioning
the
meat Correct article usage
apply
are
widely endorsed, Wrong verb form
have been
however
, it does not change the subject of animal consumption.
On the contrary
, these creatures are acknowledged as a finite source on the earth the same as the other natural resources. To extend it
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
in addition
to the sympathy for enduring painful imposed action on them, they also
have an essential effect on the ecosystem and food chain. The excess consumption of them could threaten not only just animals
but also
mankind. Bees’ effects are a case in point. It is examined that the extinction of bees endangers other plants’ lives due to
their strong connection. Although
generally, predators hunt other creatures, this
is not comparable with the humans’ excess consumption, such
as foods
, clothes, medical research and Fix the agreement mistake
food
test
.
In conclusion, the dependency of humans on Fix the agreement mistake
tests
animals
is unavoidable. However
, on
the best of my knowledge, reducing the unnecessary use of them could be beneficial to preserve and avoid Change preposition
to
the
extinction.Correct article usage
apply
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specific examples
Consider elaborating on specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, you can mention specific studies that highlight the nutritional benefits of animal products or detail particular instances of animal usage in medical research.
ideas development
Ensure all ideas are fully developed. Some paragraphs contain general statements that would benefit from further elaboration, such as the point about insects as meat substitutes.
grammar and clarity
Make sure to thoroughly revise sentences for grammar and clarity. Some sentences are long and complex, which can obscure meaning. Simple, clear sentences can be more impactful.
task response
Good attempt at balancing both views, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
organization
Introduction and conclusion are well-defined, which helps in providing a clear structure to the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The use of transitional phrases such as 'On the contrary' helps to logically connect ideas between paragraphs.