IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

#cities #vehicle-free #cars #trucks #motorcylces #city #center #people #transports #buses #taxis #metro
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many metro
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
 public transports are encouraged to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of private vehicles to
pramote
Correct your spelling
promote
vehicle - free
Correct your spelling
vehicle-free
show examples
 days.
This
Linking Words
 act leads to many advantages
such
Linking Words
 as the
environment
Use synonyms
 and the
healthbenefits
Correct your spelling
benefits
,
moreover
Linking Words
, it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 public transportation
faicilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the city.
While
Linking Words
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
Correct article usage
a challange
show examples
challange
Correct your spelling
challenge
 for certain groups, and
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could face
rush
Correct article usage
a rush
show examples
 with
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. The advantages are,
firstly
Linking Words
, there would be less carbon release into the
environment
Use synonyms
. which has
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 impact on better air quality.
Additionally
Linking Words
, with fewer vehicles on the road, there will be
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in noise and air pollution,
also
Linking Words
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 traffic incidents, which lead to
healthier
Add an article
the healthier
a healthier
show examples
 urban
environment
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
mose
Correct your spelling
more
 use of public transport would promote the facilities provided by
metro
Add an article
the metro
show examples
 government.
While
Linking Words
 there are demerits of banning private cars, trucks and
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
show examples
 from
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, as
this
Linking Words
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 challenging for
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 group of
people
Use synonyms
 heading to
workplacein
Correct your spelling
workplace
workplace in
 downtown.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can face parking Issues,
as well as
Linking Words
 few,
people
Use synonyms
need
Correct pronoun usage
who need
show examples
 to take
walk
Correct article usage
a walk
show examples
 to their job location.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there might be public resistance to
such
Linking Words
 policies where
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
toansport
Correct your spelling
transport
 might be
inconvinient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
 to them.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there are chances of traffic and rush with
people
Use synonyms
 commuting by public travel services.
This
Linking Words
 may result in
Correct article usage
the decelosation
show examples
decelosation
Correct your spelling
deceleration
 of
project
Correct article usage
the project
show examples
. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutshell, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
such
Linking Words
policy
Correct article usage
a policy
show examples
chould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 be more
advantagious
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 in consideration
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 economic, health and
environment
Use synonyms
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
As two
Correct word choice
Two
show examples
 major factors which promote are
toward
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imoprovement.
Therefore
Linking Words
, merits
out weigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
show examples
 the demerits
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 policy.
Submitted by varnibhatt2121 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Work on clarity and conciseness; some sentences are awkwardly phrased and contain grammatical errors. For example, 'which has great impact on better air quality' could be clearer as 'which greatly improves air quality.'
examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention a city that has successfully implemented vehicle-free days and the positive outcomes they have observed.
structure
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
grammar
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to avoid small mistakes such as 'faicilities' (facilities), 'promotion' (promote), and 'people commuting by public travel services' (public transportation).
organization
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, helping guide the reader through your argument.
structure
The use of paragraphs to discuss the advantages and disadvantages separately is effective.
content
You have highlighted some key advantages, such as improved air quality and reduced noise pollution, which are very relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • public transport
  • carbon footprint
  • urban environment
  • behavioural change
  • foot traffic
  • community engagement
  • implementation
  • enforcement
  • resistance
  • transition
  • convenience
  • sustainability
  • inconvenience
  • accessibility
  • mobility
  • alternative transport.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: