The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 ans the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The plans illustrate how Grange
Park
looks
Wrong verb form
looked
show examples
like when it first opened in 1920 and the same
park
in present.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that Grange
Park
has been developed recent century, some
features
is remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
but most of
features
Add an article
the features
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
removed and
added
Verb problem
apply
show examples
new
features
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
park
. To closer look, in 1920, there was
fountain
Add an article
a fountain
the fountain
show examples
in the middle of the
park
and
this
fountain was removed
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
nowadays is built rose garden surrounding
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
seats. To parallel that, next to the fountain, there was
stage
Add an article
the stage
a stage
show examples
for musicians and there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
two seats for individuals.
This
feature was demolished and
amphitheatre
Correct article usage
an amphitheatre
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
constructed. In 1920, there was
rose
Add an article
a rose
the rose
show examples
garden and pond for water plants and these
features
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
removed and
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
and children's play area
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
built
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
north of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Grange
Park
.
Finally
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
present, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
some new
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
added
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
park
,
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
feature and
entrance
Correct article usage
an entrance
show examples
underground
park
.
Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Try to improve grammatical accuracy. There are several grammatical mistakes, such as 'some features is remained', which should be 'some features remain.'
vocabulary
Enhance the richness of vocabulary. Some words are repetitively used, such as 'removed' and 'built.' Using synonyms can make the essay more engaging.
structure
Structure your essay more clearly. Use more transitional phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your paragraphs.
task response
You have identified the main changes in the park over time, which is crucial for task response.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion, which shows a good understanding of essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • establishment
  • depiction
  • key components
  • walking paths
  • recreational facilities
  • modifications
  • structure
  • amenities
  • renovations
  • installations
  • expanded areas
  • reduced areas
  • changes in vegetation
  • contemporary needs
  • implications
  • community
  • historical overview
  • main features
  • highlight
  • detail
What to do next:
Look at other essays: