IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development
These days
people
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
 to stay alone so that they can hide from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life it is obviously something worth it to stay alone for a
while
. Some
people
 believe when they take a break by staying far away from
people
 they can leave the stress behind them which can be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
true, But
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
 live alone for the rest of their lives
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would say to those
people
 it is something negative to do, To clarify the reasons we need to ask them
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 the famous magazine has done after studying 100
people
 the statistics say many
people
 prefer to stay alone because back in time when they were children their parents they were. locked them up in their own rooms as a punishment most of their lives and not letting them go with other children and know they think it is best to stay alone and watch a movie. From my point of view, I would say sometimes it
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
 to live alone so that you can take care of yourself
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 no one will
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 care of you
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 living with nobody you can rely on yourself.
Moreover
, you will know your real personality and find out who really you are, I could tell from some
people
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 know it is
peacful
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 to live for a
while
 alone
Nevertheless
people
 are living
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
. entire life alone god created wife and husband so that they can be together each one of them
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 the other. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, living alone could have some benefits
also
 staying with family or
wife
Correct article usage
a wife
show examples
 could have some benefits too, So try to balance between them.
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
Your essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion. Make the introduction concise and to the point, and ensure the conclusion summarizes your arguments effectively.
logical structure
Strive for logical coherence in your essay. Use paragraphs to clearly separate different points or arguments. Each paragraph should contain one main idea.
supported main points
Ensure your main points are well-supported. Provide specific examples and detailed explanations to clarify your arguments. The mention of a study is good but needs more detail.
complete response
Focus on addressing the task fully. Discuss both positive and negative aspects in equal detail, providing a balanced view. This will make your argument more comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas and elaborate on them. Sometimes your points are not thoroughly explained, making it difficult to understand your argument fully.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your ideas more clearly and make your essay more convincing.
balanced argument
You made an attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is commendable. This adds depth to your discussion.
engaging tone
You have a conversational and personal tone in your essay that can engage readers. This can be a strength if used appropriately and structured well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: