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Band 4.5

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #student #college #university #fees #government #governments
Education surely is of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
essince
Correct your spelling
essence
.
Although
 its importance is not a point of discussion, rulers of different countries,
however
, perceive it as a must. Saudi Arabia,
for example
,
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 the
opposit
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opposite
show examples
 of what many countries would do and pays its
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 their
unevirties'
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unevirties
show examples
 fees. Many people argue
againts
Correct your spelling
against
 the notion of dedicating a considerable amount of a government's wealth
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Change noun form
education's
show examples
 sake, comparable numbers of others support the idea. I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
 deem the decision very advantageous and exceeding by far its drawbacks.
Unevirsities
Correct your spelling
Universities
, on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 more than
ceritificates
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certificates
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
civilizes
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civilize
show examples
 the community,
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and sharpens
show examples
sharpens
Correct subject-verb agreement
sharpen
show examples
essintial
Correct your spelling
essential
 skills like public speaking and
problems solving
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problem-solving
show examples
 that can implemented in a wide variety of situations.
On the other hand
, investment in youth can be very prosperous
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long run for the
decision makers
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decision-makers
show examples
 once graduates join in pushing the wheels of industry.
In
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On
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contrary
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the contrary
show examples
, the suggestion does not appeal to all. Those who are in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of letting students pay their fees
,
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apply
show examples
 claim that it is evident by the average of
high grade
Add a hyphen
high-grade
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 get if they break
sweat
Add an article
a sweat
show examples
 for their scholarships compared to those
whom their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
oppprtionity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 stood in
plane
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plain
show examples
 sight.
moreover
, the biggest portion of the pie should be carefully planned to be put where it is much needed.
ministeries
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ministries
such
 as health and agriculture, they continue,
constitue
Correct your spelling
constitute
 a better bid. In summary,
while
goverments'
Correct your spelling
government's
governments
 decision to pay the fees of their undergraduates has both pros and cons, it is never wrong to make education a priority.
Submitted by tareq.kj on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to create clearer connections between ideas and paragraphs. Transition phrases can help readers follow your arguments more easily.
Task Achievement
Enhance your task response by addressing counterarguments in more detail and backing up your points with specific examples. This will make your arguments more compelling.
General
Focus on proofreading your work for spelling and grammatical errors. Accuracy can significantly improve the overall quality of your essay.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced discussion by addressing both advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for a well-rounded argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, giving it a complete structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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