Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new product that may improve our lives. Which view do you agree or disagree?

In modern times, several individuals believe that advertising influences the generations to purchase products which are not needed in their lives
whereas
many persons consider
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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has
Wrong verb form
to have
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numerous benefits to the people to enhance their lifestyle.
This
essay elaborates on both views before presenting
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I partially agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
To begin
with, there are multifarious points to stand with the former stance, but the prominent is , whatever is shown on the internet is not good in quality sometimes and a number of citizens buy those
ietms
Correct your spelling
items
because they get attracted by the way
advertise
Change the form of the verb
advertising
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is presented,
although
they do not need it.
For example
,
youth
Add an article
the youth
a youth
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of today
is following
Wrong verb form
follow
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celebrities on social media and try to copy their style of wearing clothes and so many other things which are not worth in the life of people. They buy expensive brands and
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
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more than their incomes and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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leads to
Correct article usage
a wastage
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wastage
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waste
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of money. Exploring the other side, there are valid thoughts in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favor of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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buying things, one worth noticing crux is , by watching or reading advertisements ,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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get to know about what kind of product is and how to use it. To clarify, they do see hair
color
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colour
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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and apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
on
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to
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their hair . They only need to pay for the hair
color
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colour
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and no need to visit
salon
Correct article usage
a salon
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which saves
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
money. Based on the above discussion, advertisement has numerous profits to the people ,
however
, it
also
gives birth to some serious concerns.
This
actively demonstrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Why I partially agree.
Submitted by manjeetsandhu1999 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each point, providing clearer and more detailed examples to help support your arguments. Discussing more specific instances can strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
It's essential to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases and varying sentence structure to improve overall flow.
coherence cohesion
You should be careful with grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Revising your essay for language precision and clarity can enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view addressing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, providing a clear starting point and an appropriate summary of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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