Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability, while others believe that there are more important factors associated with success in sports. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion

It has been argued by some individuals that being physically fit is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
most significant factor
to be
Change preposition
in being
show examples
a successful
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
,
while
others offend
this
idea and think some
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
factors
are much
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
.
However
, I believe that
along with
being physically fit, a few other
factors
are
also
necessary. Proponents claim that
success
in games
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on the physical ability of a player, as
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
who is healthy and has a good physique is likely to have a much better future in
sports
as compared to the
ones'
Change noun form
ones
show examples
with weak
strength
.
Moreover
, some
sports
like wrestling and gymnastics require good stamina, in order to be a winner.
Therefore
, it can be said that a player should be fit to gain
success
in their career.
On the other hand
, critics contend that other
factors
such
as a sense of unity, honesty, integrity and professionalism are of great significance as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
require their players to play in a team, where they have to compete with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people of different religions, cultures and countries.
Furthermore
, a
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
should be diligent and focused towards their goal in order to attain holistic growth. It is
also
necessary to conduct medical tests of the players to check if they are not under any supplements or drugs to gain fake
strength
. In my view, even though some believe that
success
in games depends on physical
strength
,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think other
factors
such
as
Add an article
the feeling
a feeling
show examples
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
of oneness and
professionlism
Correct your spelling
professionalism
are
also
of much
signifiance
Correct your spelling
significance
in order to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
success
in
sports
. In conclusion, it can be said that being a successful
sportsmen
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsman
show examples
or
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
does not only require good
strength
but a player should
also
know how to behave in the playground, where they would be required to play as a team with people of different communities.
Submitted by prabhjot06gill on

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and presents a clear opinion, which is great. However, to achieve a higher score, try to include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, but there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Refining these areas will improve readability.
content positive
The introduction does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument and stating your opinion clearly.
organization positive
The essay flows logically from one point to the next, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
content positive
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, which effectively wraps up the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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