Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability, while others believe that there are more important factors associated with success in sports. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion
It has been argued by some individuals that being physically fit is
a
most significant factor Correct article usage
the
to be
a successful Change preposition
in being
sports person
, Correct your spelling
sportsperson
while
others offend this
idea and think some others
Correct quantifier usage
other
factors
are much important
. Correct quantifier usage
more important
However
, I believe that along with
being physically fit, a few other factors
are also
necessary.
Proponents claim that success
in games depend
on the physical ability of a player, as Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
individual
who is healthy and has a good physique is likely to have a much better future in Add an article
an individual
the individual
sports
as compared to the ones'
with weak Change noun form
ones
strength
. Moreover
, some sports
like wrestling and gymnastics require good stamina, in order to be a winner. Therefore
, it can be said that a player should be fit to gain success
in their career.
On the other hand
, critics contend that other factors
such
as a sense of unity, honesty, integrity and professionalism are of great significance as most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sports
require their players to play in a team, where they have to compete with the
people of different religions, cultures and countries. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, a sports person
should be diligent and focused towards their goal in order to attain holistic growth. It is Correct your spelling
sportsperson
also
necessary to conduct medical tests of the players to check if they are not under any supplements or drugs to gain fake strength
.
In my view, even though some believe that success
in games depends on physical strength
, yet
I think other Correct word choice
apply
factors
such
as Add an article
the feeling
a feeling
feeling
of oneness and Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
professionlism
are Correct your spelling
professionalism
also
of much signifiance
in order to Correct your spelling
significance
get
Verb problem
achieve
success
in sports
.
In conclusion, it can be said that being a successful sportsmen
or Fix the agreement mistake
sportsman
women
does not only require good Fix the agreement mistake
woman
strength
but a player should also
know how to behave in the playground, where they would be required to play as a team with people of different communities.Submitted by prabhjot06gill on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and presents a clear opinion, which is great. However, to achieve a higher score, try to include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, but there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Refining these areas will improve readability.
content positive
The introduction does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument and stating your opinion clearly.
organization positive
The essay flows logically from one point to the next, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
content positive
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, which effectively wraps up the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.