IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.
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the chart shows the average
number
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 of females who delivered their
first
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 baby in a family in Australia in three
years
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.
overall
Linking Words
, the highest
number
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 of
women
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 who gave delivery to their
first
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 children came under the age of 19 -24,
while
Linking Words
 some females over 40 had the least parturition in three
years
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. in detail,
women
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 under 19-24 gave birth to their
first
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 baby with shares at 33 % in 1986, and
this
Linking Words
number
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 plummeted to 20 % after 20
years
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. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 ratio declined to nearly 10 in the final year.
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the highest
number
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 of
women
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 had come for parturition to
first
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born
Verb problem
apply
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at 60% and its peak in 1966, surprisingly
this
Linking Words
number
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 took a nose dive to 35% in 1986 and continuously plunged to 29% in 2006.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the category of 25 to 35, around 35% of females born their
first
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 child in 1966 and
this
Linking Words
 ratio gradually inclined
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 50% after 20
years
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 but
this
Linking Words
 value plunged to approximately 30% in 2006.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1966 around 11% of
women
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 birthing their
first
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 child and
this
Linking Words
number
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 had significant changes and surged to more than 40% between ages 30 to 34 in 2006. Next, the aged 34 to 39 and over 40
women
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 got pregnant
first
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 time with shares at below 10 % in 1966. Still,
women
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 who came in 34 to 39 gave delivery for the
first
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 time increased to 30% after 40
years
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, but those who were above 40 had no significant numbers in birthing.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, first, years, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "plunged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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