Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.

In recent years, unhealthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been increasingly common for
children
and
this
issue can be solved with the confluence of both parental and
school
help.
Although
there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
factors that encourage
children
to stay in
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that joint action by
parents
and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
can hugely support
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
. These days, with the development of technology and changing habits in living, unhealthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
could be popular among
school
students.
this
trend can be tackled with efforts by
parents
and schools easily.
first
Capitalize word
First
show examples
of all,
parents
play an important role in shaping the habits of every child, dedicating more time
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
.
Correct pronoun usage
it.
show examples
Meanwhile,
parents
can encourage
children
to follow their instructions and
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
them to understand what is right or wrong.
This
often leads
children
to foster their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
and problem-solving skills, altering their mindset in terms of living.
Such
abilities could support every child to make wise decisions and
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
them to adjust new healthy
lifestyle
. In terms of developing
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
,
school
can teach them
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
important subjects,
such
as history and math, which
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
an integral role in discouraging
children
to adapt bad life. Those subjects are responsible for teaching students
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
historical figures and their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
, urging them to imitate
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
real life later on. There
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
external factors which influence on developing healthy
lifestyle
among schoolchildren. it is freedom. these days, more and more
children
are suffering from a lack of freedom in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
In other words
,
parents
and schools are often
giving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure
Replace the word
pressured
show examples
to adjust new
lifestyle
which is leading bad results.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
long as
children
have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
independance
Correct your spelling
independence
independent
to make personal
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
and do whatever they want, they try to live in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
atmosphere and
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
the most alternative one.
as a result
, it eases the process of adoptation of new
lifestyle
.
To conclude
,
although
there is one factor in shaping
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
, being
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that parental and
school
adjoint action carry greater weight.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, discuss specific initiatives that schools or parents can take.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points follow a logical order. Separate different ideas into different paragraphs for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on eliminating minor grammatical and typographical errors to improve readability and professionalism. For example, make sure to capitalize the first letter of a sentence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which indicates a good structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both parents and schools in solving the issue of unhealthy lifestyles, showing an understanding of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay explores multiple facets of promoting a healthy lifestyle, including the role of freedom and decision-making skills, adding depth to your analysis.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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