Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years, unhealthy

Use synonyms

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been increasingly common for

children

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

issue can be solved with the confluence of both parental and

school

Use synonyms

help.

Although

Linking Words

there

some

Add a missing verb

are some

show examples

factors that encourage

children

Use synonyms

to stay in

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

Change the capitalization

show examples

strongly believe that joint action by

parents

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

can hugely support

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

. These days, with the development of technology and changing habits in living, unhealthy

Use synonyms

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

could be popular among

school

Use synonyms

students.

this

Linking Words

trend can be tackled with efforts by

parents

Use synonyms

and schools easily.

first

Capitalize word

First

show examples

of all,

parents

Use synonyms

play an important role in shaping the habits of every child, dedicating more time

with

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

it.

show examples

Meanwhile,

parents

Use synonyms

can encourage

children

Use synonyms

to follow their instructions and

helping

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

them to understand what is right or wrong.

This

Linking Words

often leads

children

Use synonyms

to foster their

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

and problem-solving skills, altering their mindset in terms of living.

Such

Linking Words

abilities could support every child to make wise decisions and

helping

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

them to adjust new healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

. In terms of developing

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

can teach them

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

important subjects,

such

Linking Words

as history and math, which

plays

Correct subject-verb agreement

play

show examples

an integral role in discouraging

children

Use synonyms

to adapt bad life. Those subjects are responsible for teaching students

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

historical figures and their

Use synonyms

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

, urging them to imitate

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

real life later on. There

some

Add a missing verb

are some

show examples

external factors which influence on developing healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

among schoolchildren. it is freedom. these days, more and more

children

Use synonyms

are suffering from a lack of freedom in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

In other words

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

and schools are often

giving

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pressure

Replace the word

pressured

show examples

to adjust new

lifestyle

Use synonyms

which is leading bad results.

Capitalize word

show examples

long as

children

Use synonyms

have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

independance

Correct your spelling

independence

independent

to make personal

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

and do whatever they want, they try to live in

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

atmosphere and

choosing

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

the most alternative one.

as a result

Linking Words

, it eases the process of adoptation of new

lifestyle

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there is one factor in shaping

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

, being

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

freedom,

Change the capitalization

show examples

strongly believe that parental and

school

Use synonyms

adjoint action carry greater weight.

makemoneyizzy16Wed Aug 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, discuss specific initiatives that schools or parents can take.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points follow a logical order. Separate different ideas into different paragraphs for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on eliminating minor grammatical and typographical errors to improve readability and professionalism. For example, make sure to capitalize the first letter of a sentence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which indicates a good structure.

task achievement

You have addressed both parents and schools in solving the issue of unhealthy lifestyles, showing an understanding of the task.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay explores multiple facets of promoting a healthy lifestyle, including the role of freedom and decision-making skills, adding depth to your analysis.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that the internet has made books and libraries obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reason and support with examples.
The debate over whether the government should establish free libraries in every town or if it's an unnecessary expense due to widespread internet access requires thoughtful examination. Both sides of this argument have valid points, but I believe that free libraries remain a worthwhile investment for several reasons.
8.5
band
People try to change their look by changing the colour of their hair using cosmetics, wearing jewellery or even having a plastic surgery done. Why do you think people do it? Do you think changing a look is a good thing.
Having a perfect look is a life-long dream for many people. So they make many changes when it comes to styling, for example, a change in hair colour or style is easily noticed, Not only do some go under the knife to achieve that perfect look or simply wear jewellery that goes with the look. There are many reasons behind this trend. There is nothing wrong if somebody wants to make some changes in a look, however going for risky surgeries is not worth it, as their life is always at risk.
6.5
band
Today, there are more men's than women's sports on TV. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's and men's sports?
In this modern world, the forms of entertainment, especially sport, have been on the rise in many parts of the world. This sparks a debate about the amount of time men’s sports on air is higher than that of the other gender. This essay will list out some potential reasons and suggest no difference made with the amount of time.
7
band
In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Nowadays, the quality of life has climbed over time, which unwinds the frequently significant pressure that children endure. In some countries, a kid learns that they can have fruitful outcomes and go beyond abroad the barriers in life as long as they strive to go through all difficulties and challenges. While this development may bring about some drawbacks, I would argue that they are overshadowed by the benefits.
6.5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how
In recent years, the global proliferation of the English language has sparked a heated debate about its significance vis-à-vis local languages. While some argue that English proficiency is indispensable, others contend that indigenous languages are equally important. This essay will delve into both perspectives and offer a nuanced view.

Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people believe that the internet has made books and libraries obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reason and support with examples.

People try to change their look by changing the colour of their hair using cosmetics, wearing jewellery or even having a plastic surgery done. Why do you think people do it? Do you think changing a look is a good thing.

Today, there are more men's than women's sports on TV. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's and men's sports?

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how