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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The previous bar chart showcases the average yearly earnings in percentages in
cities
Use synonyms
 and regional areas around Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 earned a
middle
Use synonyms
salary
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 most of the
people
Use synonyms
 in regional centres had a lower
middle
Use synonyms
 income.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least amount of
people
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 had a low income,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least proportion of individuals in regional areas got a high
salary
Use synonyms
. In detail, it can be clearly seen that around
cities
Use synonyms
 most
people
Use synonyms
 (around 35%) tended to have a
middle
Use synonyms
salary
Use synonyms
, followed by a lower
middle
Use synonyms
 (around 30%) and a high
salary
Use synonyms
 (around 20%).
However
Linking Words
, in regional areas the situation was different. The lower
middle
Use synonyms
salary
Use synonyms
 was earned by the majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 (around 34%), followed by a smaller amount of
people
Use synonyms
 earning a
middle
Use synonyms
 and low
salary
Use synonyms
. Contrarily, the least number of
people
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 (around 13%) got a low
salary
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 around regional centres the high
salary
Use synonyms
 was earned by the lowest number of
people
Use synonyms
 (around 15%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, people, middle, salary with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 9 times.
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