The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

The continued increase of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
civilians is a cute
problem
right now. In my opinion, there are several reasons for
this
problem
. I
also
think
that is
one of the most crucial problems of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
race at the moment. One of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
overpopulation
is conservative religions, which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of cases support
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
construct of family and evoke
people
to get more children.
According to
statistics,
people
who mainly induce
overpopulation
are very religious
people
, in some situations zealots. We can be convinced
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
by means of observing
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
in
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
East, Nigeria,
Tajikistan
Correct word choice
and Tajikistan
show examples
where
average
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the average
show examples
family has about 6-7 children.
Second
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The second
show examples
thing that should be mentioned is human biology. At some
paint
Correct your spelling
point
show examples
, we are just animals which cannot overcome our bioinsticts. Despite on presence of
concious
Correct your spelling
consciousness
, we, at least
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
in our society, still can't decide some things
conciously
Correct your spelling
consciously
, and only follow
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
instincts. From my perspective
overpopulation
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the biggest problems in modern society. In future,
this
problem
can
has
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have
show examples
some heavy
sideeffects
Correct your spelling
side effects
side-effects
like lack of resources, air pollution, water contamination and so on.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
we might feel
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
normally, but ultimately, we anyway will encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these problems.
Humanity
haven't
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hasn't
show examples
yet realized
magnitude
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the magnitude
show examples
of all the consequences.
Furthermore
, it is tragic. If
humanity
want
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wants
show examples
the best future for
nextgenerations
Correct your spelling
next generations
, the
problem
of
overpopulation
shouldn't be neglected, it should be prevented. Legislatures and judiciaries of all countries should accept the laws and measures
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
save the future of
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation.
For example
, there should be some limits in terms of "creating" new children. In conclusion,
overpopulation
is
real
Add an article
a real
the real
show examples
problem
which can lead
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
race
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
plight situation. It has
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of reasons like human biology and traditional religions.
Nevertheless
,
humanity
can mitigate
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
show examples
by limitations and measures in terms of "human creating". I hope that
humanity
can solve
this
problem
.
Submitted by galkalialex on

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task achievement
Try to further elaborate your points with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure for better clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the flow of the essay. Use linking words where necessary.
task achievement
You have identified key causes of overpopulation and provided a logical explanation for each.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, showing a good overall structure.
task achievement
The topic is consistently addressed throughout the essay, showing a good focus on the main issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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