The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
The continued increase of
world's
civilians is a cute Correct article usage
the world's
problem
right now. In my opinion, there are several reasons for this
problem
. I also
think that is
one of the most crucial problems of human
race at the moment.
One of the reasons Correct article usage
the human
of
Change preposition
for
overpopulation
is conservative religions, which are
in Unnecessary verb
apply
majority
of cases support Correct article usage
the majority
traditional
construct of family and evoke Add an article
the traditional
people
to get more children. According to
statistics, people
who mainly induce overpopulation
are very religious people
, in some situations zealots. We can be convinced in
Change preposition
of
this
by means of observing situation
in Add an article
the situation
Middle
East, Nigeria, Correct article usage
the Middle
Tajikistan
where Correct word choice
and Tajikistan
average
family has about 6-7 children. Add an article
the average
Second
thing that should be mentioned is human biology. At someAdd an article
The second
paint
, we are just animals which cannot overcome our bioinsticts. Despite on presence of Correct your spelling
point
concious
, we, at least Correct your spelling
consciousness
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
people
in our society, still can't decide some things Change preposition
of people
conciously
, and only follow Correct your spelling
consciously
to
Change preposition
apply
their
instincts.
From my perspective Correct pronoun usage
our
overpopulation
one
of the biggest problems in modern society. In future, Add a missing verb
is one
this
problem
can has
some heavy Change the verb form
have
sideeffects
like lack of resources, air pollution, water contamination and so on. Correct your spelling
side effects
side-effects
Currently
we might feel Add a comma
Currently,
ourself
normally, but ultimately, we anyway will encounter Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
with
these problems. Change preposition
apply
Humanity
haven't
yet realized Change the verb form
hasn't
magnitude
of all the consequences. Add an article
the magnitude
Furthermore
, it is tragic. If humanity
want
the best future for Change the verb form
wants
nextgenerations
, the Correct your spelling
next generations
problem
of overpopulation
shouldn't be neglected, it should be prevented. Legislatures and judiciaries of all countries should accept the laws and measures for
save the future of Change preposition
to
next
generation. Correct article usage
the next
For example
, there should be some limits in terms of "creating" new children.
In conclusion, overpopulation
is real
Add an article
a real
the real
problem
which can lead human
race Correct article usage
the human
for
plight situation. It has Change preposition
to
couple
of reasons like human biology and traditional religions. Change the article
a couple
Nevertheless
, humanity
can mitigate side-effects
by limitations and measures in terms of "human creating". I hope that Correct your spelling
side effects
humanity
can solve this
problem
.Submitted by galkalialex on
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task achievement
Try to further elaborate your points with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure for better clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the flow of the essay. Use linking words where necessary.
task achievement
You have identified key causes of overpopulation and provided a logical explanation for each.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, showing a good overall structure.
task achievement
The topic is consistently addressed throughout the essay, showing a good focus on the main issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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