Some people believe that watching movies and TV shows is a waste of time, while others think it is a valuable way to relax and learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #movies #tv #waste #time

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

world, films and series are peoples’

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

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and they dedicate their money and

time

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

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various TV shows.

While

some have a perspective that

such

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

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do not have any

advantageous

Replace the word

advantages

show examples

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

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believe that it is a beneficial hobby for societies to learn and enjoy their

time

. I agree with the second group and both viewpoints will be argued in the following paragraphs. As

it is

Verb problem

apply

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mentioned above, a group of

people

claim that watching

movies

and TV

bear

Verb problem

has

show examples

negative impacts on their lives, and they can do other activities which are more beneficial;

for instance

, reading books or listening to podcasts which increase their general knowledge.

On the other hand

, they believe peoples’ attitudes will be poisoned by films which are aimed to be destructive for diverse items

such

as cultures, beliefs, lifestyles and outfits.

Besides

, many political sponsors will pay producers to advertise their policies;

this

action is an unethical way to gain acceptance in communities. Others and I,

in contrast

, opine that

people

will be aware

about

Change the preposition

show examples

different subjects like science, history and art by watching different genres of

movies

and series.

Moreover

film makers

Correct your spelling

film-makers

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try to express

societies

Replace the word

societal

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issues

Change preposition

through

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their artistic taste which

influence

Correct subject-verb agreement

influences

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stronger, and may push governments to solve problems.

In addition

, watching

movies

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

people

to debate which is a vital factor for

civilizations

Change noun form

civilizations'

civilization's

show examples

progress; conversations will be formed about

characters

Fix the agreement mistake

character

show examples

analyzes

Replace the word

analysis

show examples

, particular scenes and film critics which

open

Correct subject-verb agreement

opens

show examples

new visions in different aspects. In brief, there are two viewpoints; from one opinion, spending

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

movies

has no

Verb problem

is not

show examples

advantageous; from another, it helps

people

to learn in a specific way. I agree with the first group and I hold an opinion which

express

Change the verb form

expresses

show examples

that

people

not only enjoy their

time

when they watch TV shows, but

also

they earn valuable data.

Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on Wed Aug 21 2024

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Coherence and cohesion

To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, work on ensuring that all sentences within each paragraph connect smoothly and logically. Some parts of your essay provide good transitions, but others feel a bit disjointed. Signpost the main points more clearly when moving from one idea to the next.

Task response

Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and supported with specific examples. Currently, the essay provides a decent breadth of arguments but lacks depth in specific instances. Including relevant examples will strengthen your main points and demonstrate your perspective clearly.

Task response

Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to better reflect the content of your essay. Your conclusion appears contradictory; rephrase to ensure it aligns with the arguments made in the essay.

Clear comprehensive ideas

To improve clarity, break down complex sentences and avoid overly complicated structures. This will help make your points clearer and more understandable.

Coherence and cohesion

Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'peoples’ favorite entertainments' should be 'people’s favorite forms of entertainment'. Small changes can dramatically improve readability.

Task response

The conclusion seems to contradict the thesis. You mentioned that you agree with the second group but then stated you agree with the first group towards the end. Ensure consistency in your perspectives throughout the essay.

Task achievement

Your essay provides a thorough discussion of both viewpoints, and you give your opinion clearly.

Coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a structure for your essay.

Coherence and cohesion

You employ a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, which enhances the readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that watching movies and TV shows is a waste of time, while others think it is a valuable way to relax and learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

These days, many people choose to work online. Is this a positive development? Do you think there are disadvantages of working online?

The picture shows the rates of smoking in Someland by men and women. Summerise key features and information where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to eduacte. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that success is the best indicator for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?