IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people belive that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People today live in the digital era, where we can get everything only from a smart device. Some people think printed
books
Use synonyms
 are no longer important as all writings can be saved electronically
while
Linking Words
 another group disagrees.
Read
Wrong verb form
Reading
show examples
 a
book
Use synonyms
 from
device
Add an article
the device
a device
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
 could have a number of benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 would definitely protect and save our planet, since printed
books
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a collection of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
 and paper comes from
trees
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by not cutting
trees
Use synonyms
, we
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
to save
Change preposition
in saving
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 and
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
Rephrase
apply
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also
Linking Words
.
Secondly
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, by not
printed
Change the form of the verb
printing
show examples
 the
books
Use synonyms
 it would decrease the price of
books
Use synonyms
. Consumers would buy the
books
Use synonyms
 and can save the budget for the other things. It would make
sale
Add an article
the sale
a sale
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 as increase as the author’s wealth.
Moreover
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, from
reader’s
Correct article usage
the reader’s
show examples
 perspective, it would make their life easier by
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
need
Wrong verb form
needing
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 to bring
a heavy
Correct the article-noun agreement
a heavy book
heavy books
show examples
books
Use synonyms
, they just need a device to do anything.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are some
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 that still need
a printed
Correct the article-noun agreement
a printed book
printed books
show examples
books
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 feel to read a digital
book
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
printed
Add an article
a printed
the printed
show examples
book
Use synonyms
, from my experience,
for instance
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 became lazier if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to read a digital
book
Use synonyms
 than
printed
Add an article
a printed
the printed
show examples
book
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is
possibly
Change the word
possible
show examples
 because
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 eye has a limitation
to see
Change preposition
in seeing
show examples
 a monitor, our
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
 become weak if looking at the monitor too long.
SO
Correct your spelling
So
show examples
, it is healthier to read a printed
book
Use synonyms
 than a digital
book
Use synonyms
. In
Conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
Conclusion
show examples
, I personally believe
to remove
Change preposition
in removing
show examples
 printed
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 and
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 to digital
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 to save the earth.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an alternative source
instead
Linking Words
 of
trees
Use synonyms
 to produce
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen coherence by improving the flow between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph builds on the previous one logically.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points. For instance, elaborating on how digital books are more environmentally friendly could make the argument stronger.
Language Accuracy
Work on grammar and sentence structure to avoid ambiguity. Improve the use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow the argument.
Task Achievement
Addresses both viewpoints and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion, which fulfills the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use of linking phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore' aids in the logical flow of ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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