IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#companies #salaries #ceos #executives #workers
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These days, we can see a range of
companies
 that manufacture and fix several things;
moreover
, all of them have managers, employees and labourers who
work
 with each other to reach businesses' aims and in
this
 way, a group of
people
 believe that it is important that
people
 who are managers earn more salaries than others. I subscribe to
this
 idea owing to the fact that these populations have more responsibilities and they have both knowledge and experience. On the one hand, when you have more responsibilities at
work
, you will feel more stressed and you will have to manage everything.
In other words
, if labourers in one section of the factory do not
work
 very well in
this
 stage of production matters;
then
 the manager should change these workers
while
 CEOs of one firm do not
work
 perfectly;
thereafter
, the whole company have issues
also
, it has waste money;
additionally
, these
people
 need to spend so much time on their
work
 more than others to industries have a good yield.
On the other hand
, these
people
 can help
companies
 to improve inasmuch as most communities who are CEOs have not only high educations but
also
 a lot of experience;
therefore
, the efficiency of
companies
 is climbed by their knowledge.
For instance
, I had a master who was a refinery oil manager
due to
 the fact that he taught the fields that he was managing in the industry.
In addition
, he said," I experience things that I alter in the refinery than I performed them".
To sum up
, workers ought to have nice incomes;
however
, I advise that CEOs need to earn more money on account of the fact that they spend more time on their
work
 to enhance
companies
 and they catch the highest level of knowledge.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, and use topic sentences to signal these main ideas to the reader.
task achievement
Work on integrating examples more smoothly into your arguments. This will help in making your points more relatable and concrete.
general
Focus on using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, discussing both the responsibilities and expertise of CEOs and managers.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that reaffirms the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
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