IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such ad Facebook) have had a huge impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree ?

#people #sites #ad #facebook #impact #individuals #society
I believe many
people
 had a huge impact from both sides, individuals and society, From social media applications. I agree with
this
 question, for many reasons, first of
all
Add the comma(s)
all,
show examples
 the apps that made a huge impact were not only Facebook
Rephrase
apply
show examples
furthermore
,but there is a list of them
such
 as Instagram,Snapchat, and
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
, to be continued,
In addition
, The impressions like videos that were posted through
people
 and following by the ads that show suddenly without warning you literally a person could spend
hours
 and
hours
 on those apps with could cause a lot of problems starting with your eyes standing in front of your phone for a long time could effect on your eyes with time, As a matter of fact, your backbone could twist,
Moreover
 use social media 3
hours
 5
hours
 maximum.
In contrast
, There are different positive qualities
such
 as connecting with your friends and chatting together, Adding new
people
 getting to know them, And watching the news and football matches with your favourite team, some apps already started a dial throughout the same app so you don,t need to spend balance you can call
people
 just by using the same app
for example
 Snapchat.
Lastly
, you can sell stuff online,
According to
 a famous magazine, selling online has the potential to make you rich in 2 years No matter what you are offering there are always those groups that would purchase anything. In a nutshell, I assume that Social networking could be more beneficial than harmful and
also
 useful than not being used at all.
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly structured. Begin with an introductory statement that clearly outlines your stance. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Work on refining your grammar and sentence structure. This will make your argument more persuasive and enhance readability.
task achievement
You should develop your points further with more specific examples and evidence. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have made some good points about the impact of social networking on individuals and society.
task achievement
The essay shows an understanding of both positive and negative aspects of social networking sites.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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