International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#community #act #countries #consumption #fuels #oil #gas

It is argued that nations should reduce the use of natural resources like oil and gas, with the global community taking urgent action to enforce

this

This

essay fully agrees with

this

viewpoint because overconsumption of these

fuels

contributes to global warming and poses significant

health

risks.

Firstly

, excessive fuel consumption is a major cause of global warming. The burning of fossil

fuels

increases air pollution, which weakens the ozone layer, leading to a rise in global temperatures. Scientists have long warned that

this

is one of the greatest threats facing humanity, and reducing fuel use, especially in transportation, is an important step toward addressing

this

problem.

Secondly

, the

health

impacts of polluted air are serious and widespread. Many common diseases are linked to the harmful substances released by burning fossil

fuels

For example

, my friend Arman developed a breathing illness that doctors said was caused by poor air quality.

This

is not an isolated case. Many people suffer from similar conditions

due to

environmental pollution. To protect public

health

, it is essential to decrease reliance on fossil

fuels

and shift towards cleaner alternatives,

such

as electric vehicles. In conclusion, the reduction of fossil fuel consumption is necessary to address the dangers of global warming and protect human

health

. Immediate and collective action is required to prevent

further

environmental and

health

-related disasters.

Submitted by Kawasaki on Wed Aug 21 2024

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task response

Consider expanding on the reasons why the international community needs to act urgently and the potential global impacts if actions are not taken promptly. Including more data or expert opinions could further strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using more connecting words or phrases. This can help improve the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an effective introduction and conclusion, emphasizing the main points of the argument.

task response

The points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the specific personal anecdote about a friend affected by poor air quality.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city

With an increasing population communicating via the Internet and text-messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the amount o f crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes o f crime? How can we deal with those causes?