International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that nations should reduce the use of natural resources like oil and gas, with the global community taking urgent action to enforce
this
. This
essay fully agrees with this
viewpoint because overconsumption of these fuels
contributes to global warming and poses significant health
risks.
Firstly
, excessive fuel consumption is a major cause of global warming. The burning of fossil fuels
increases air pollution, which weakens the ozone layer, leading to a rise in global temperatures. Scientists have long warned that this
is one of the greatest threats facing humanity, and reducing fuel use, especially in transportation, is an important step toward addressing this
problem.
Secondly
, the health
impacts of polluted air are serious and widespread. Many common diseases are linked to the harmful substances released by burning fossil fuels
. For example
, my friend Arman developed a breathing illness that doctors said was caused by poor air quality. This
is not an isolated case. Many people suffer from similar conditions due to
environmental pollution. To protect public health
, it is essential to decrease reliance on fossil fuels
and shift towards cleaner alternatives, such
as electric vehicles.
In conclusion, the reduction of fossil fuel consumption is necessary to address the dangers of global warming and protect human health
. Immediate and collective action is required to prevent further
environmental and health
-related disasters.Submitted by Kawasaki on
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task response
Consider expanding on the reasons why the international community needs to act urgently and the potential global impacts if actions are not taken promptly. Including more data or expert opinions could further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using more connecting words or phrases. This can help improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an effective introduction and conclusion, emphasizing the main points of the argument.
task response
The points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the specific personal anecdote about a friend affected by poor air quality.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?