IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
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Nowdays
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Nowadays
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that
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apply
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there growing tendency among people to live in a foreign country where a foreign
language
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 is spoken, many argue that
this
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language
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 barrier may lead to miscommunication and even
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 sorts of social and practical problems and I, though not strongly, agree with
this
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 statement. In most cases, talking and writing
is
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are
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 the main
mean
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means
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 of communication and affect our social lives heavily. So not knowing the
Use synonyms
langugage
Correct your spelling
language
 will result in a lack of social interactions and in return
this
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 will lead to difficulty in making friends
,
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apply
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 and a sense of loneliness. By the same token,
peopel
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people
 are usually not
freindly
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friendly
 towards those who
are following
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follow
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 a different
cultural
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culture
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 and speak different
langugages
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languages
,
Therefore
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 in order to understand and integrate into the local culture,
one
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 must first learn the local
langugages
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language
.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 in a school or in a workplace creating relationships
are
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is
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 important,
However
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, it
near
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is nearly
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 impossible to make a meaningful connection when
one
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 can not talk to
the
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apply
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others.
Moreover
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, being somewhat proficient in the local
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langugage
Correct your spelling
language
 is more often than not a
requirment
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requirement
 to get a job or get accepted
in
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into
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 a university.
Hence
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, not speaking it may hinder job opportunities and professional progression.
In addition
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 to that it may
complicated
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complicate
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ccessing
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accessing
 essential services
such
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 as healthcare or banking.
For example
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, most companies only offer their services in
one
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language
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 so
one
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 may not use them if
one
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 does not speak the
language
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.
Overall
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, living in a
forgien
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foreign
 country with a different
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langugage
Correct your spelling
language
 certainly has its own
challanges
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challenges
. It may make finding friends harder, it may result in complications in finding new jobs or using services. So, in my opinion, it is best to learn the
Use synonyms
langugage
Correct your spelling
language
 first before travelling to a country.
Submitted by parsaj1381 on

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Spelling and Grammar
There are several spelling and grammatical errors such as 'Nowadays that there growing tendency', 'diffrent', 'langugages' and 'freindly', which hinder the clarity of your essay. Make sure to proofread your work or use spell-checking tools.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay offers a good structure but lacks a logical transition between points. Try using connecting words or phrases (e.g., 'Moreover', 'In addition', 'Therefore'). This will make your argument flow more smoothly.
Task Achievement
You have given some relevant examples, but they could be more detailed and specific. For instance, instead of saying 'most companies only offer their services in one language', refer to specific sectors or companies that do this to strengthen your argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for your essay. However, you can make them stronger by succinctly summarizing your main points without introducing new information in the conclusion.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Your response is generally clear and you manage to cover several aspects of the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Introduction and Conclusion
The structure of your introduction and conclusion is quite effective, helping to frame your arguments well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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