Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples.

Elders in
family
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the family
a family
show examples
have been regarded as a blessing in many cultures and often they play crucial
rolls
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roles
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in
upbringing
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the upbringing
show examples
of the grandchildren. In my opinion, it is fruitful for both the
grandparents
and for
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the offsprings
show examples
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
too. The reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, first and
foremostly
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foremost
show examples
, it is
ideal
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an ideal
the ideal
show examples
way to keep oneself busy. In fact, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
Add a comma
retirement,
show examples
it becomes difficult for people to sit free but if
grandparents
are involved with grandchildren, it becomes far more easy for the elderly fellows to pass their
time
. To illustrate,
according to
a
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apply
show examples
research, 35 per cent
folks
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of folks
show examples
in old age
becomes
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become
show examples
depress
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depressed
show examples
because they have
less
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fewer
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options to keep their mind busy.
Hence
, it is ideal for the older members of the family to
brought
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bring
show examples
a child.
Furthermore
,
by
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apply
show examples
showing intimacy with the
youngones
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young ones
grandparents
can inculcate good
values
in children. As a matter of fact,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
the basic
attequates
Correct your spelling
attenuates
adequate
and social
values
are lacking in
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
because the parents have less
time
to spend with the
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
due to
their workload.
However
, the
grandparents
have ample
time
for grandchildren and
thus
, they can easily incorporate good
values
in
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into
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children.
To sum up
, it is always beneficial for elders to
involve
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be involved
show examples
in
upbringing
Add an article
the upbringing
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of the
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
, as it would
enables
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enable
show examples
them to make full use of their free
time
and
moreover
they can teach
values
to young buds.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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relevant specific examples
Try to elaborate more on your examples. It’s important to provide detailed and specific situations that reinforce your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next. This can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your stance and sets up the discussion very well.
supported main points
You have good main points that are relevant and supported.
complete response
The essay effectively balances the benefits for both grandparents and grandchildren, touching on mutual advantages.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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