IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
The graph shows how the population of four Asian
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 have changed since 1970 and how they will change in the future. In 1970, there were more people living
cities
Change preposition
in cities
show examples
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Malaysia
 than
Thailand
Change preposition
in Thailand
show examples
 and
Indonesia
. The
ratio
 of
Philippines
 and
Malaysia
 who live in cities was 30% percentage,
while
ratio
Add an article
the ratio
a ratio
show examples
 of
citizien
Correct your spelling
citizen
citizens
 in
Thailand
 and
Indonesia
Add a missing verb
was approxemitaley
show examples
approxemitaley
Correct your spelling
approximately
 15% and 18% percent relatively. Between 1970 and the present, there
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
% per cent rise in the number of
Philippines
,
Thailand
 and
Indonesia
citizien
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
 who live in cities.
According to
 the graph, the
ratio
 of urban people in
Malaysia
 will increase more quickly than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries, and experts say that by 2030, four countries have different
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
,
Malaysia
 80%,
Indonesia
 60%,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 50% and
Thailand
 40%. By 2040,
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
counties
ratio
Fix the agreement mistake
ratios
show examples
 will rise slightly and peak.
Thus
, over the
70- year
Correct your spelling
70-year
 period,
Malaysia
 is going to experience steady growth in its urban people and it will overtake three countries.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
Philippines
Change noun form
Philippine's
Philippines'
show examples
 population will peak in 2040 but the percentage of
citizien
Correct your spelling
citizen
citizens
 will stand in third place.
Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, ratio with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: