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Writing Samples /
Band 5

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensivetuition fee.Not all students can afford them so some people think that university edudation should be free for everyone.What extend do you agree or disagree.

#study #university #students #expensivetuition #fee #people #edudation
In
this
 essay, I want to argue the idea that In order to study at
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
show examples
 scholars are required to pay expensive tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone.
Further
, I will give my opinions. In the beginning, studying at
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 university is a necessity for the country and the people.
Therefore
 are a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
 conditions and obligations to study
an
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 university.
Additionally
,
such
 rules are variable for countries.
The one
Correct article usage
One
show examples
 of the common
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 is tuition wage. In many countries, students mostly have to pay
this
 bill to
companse
Correct your spelling
company
 annual expenditures. In my opinion, everyone couldn't be able to study at an
academy
 for free.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 organisations are elegant. Scholars have to be eligible.
On the other hand
, the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 or institutions should pay all the
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 or a bunch of the
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
according to
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 accomplishments.
Consequently
, I do not accept
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
however
, some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 acceptable. Regardless universities are private or public, they must not make a main purpose that
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
enrich
Wrong verb form
enriched
show examples
due to
 tuition fees.
Such
 as
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 plans must be prevented by the government. In conclusion, studying in an
academy
 is
necessarry
Correct your spelling
necessary
, people should get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
Change preposition
of educations
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 in an
academy
.
On the contrary
, some of the conditions and obligations (that
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 annual bills)
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to maintained to choose eligible candidates.
However
, the government has to take precautions and pay a bunch of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 bills yearly for their scholars.
Submitted by ilyascanaltan on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well, but try to avoid repetition and be concise. For example, the phrase 'In order to study at an academy scholars are required to pay expensive tuition fee' can be phrased more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Organize your thoughts in a more structured way. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your overall argument.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples. It helps in illustrating your argument more effectively and comprehensively.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion clearly identify the topic and summarize your stance.
complete response
You've addressed both sides of the argument, giving your essay a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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