Due to globalization, people all over the world are now able to buy the same products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
These days, more and more
people
enjoy buying same
products from all over the world because of globalization. There are two reasons to support Correct article usage
the same
this
idea: firstly
, this
trend can help people
find new hobbies and interests and secondly
, it can create a beneficial impact on economy
.
First of all, via online shopping, Add an article
the economy
people
are able to find and buy same
Correct article usage
the same
items
around the world, which may be useful to gain
a wide range of Change preposition
for gaining
persupective
. Correct your spelling
perspectives
perspective
For example
, people
who are interested in Indian history can search and buy some items
without going to India. Research recently conducted by the Ministry of Cultures in Japan discovered that about 80% people
experienced Change preposition
of people
to buy
Change the verb form
buying
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
items
from foreign countries
through Correct article usage
the internet
internet
and enjoyed these cultures. Capitalize word
Internet
As a result
, it is becoming easier to buy items
related regions
and feel real cultures around the world.
Change preposition
to regions
Secondly
, this
trend has a beneficial effect on economics. This
can include creating opportunities to make more income. As an
example of Change preposition
An
this
is the market in developing countries
. In the past, even if people
who live
in developing Wrong verb form
lived
countries
create
Wrong verb form
created
the
beautiful bags, they could sell these Correct article usage
apply
at
only 3 dollars in their Change preposition
for
countries
. These days, however
, people
can create their own web sites
to sell their products which can be sold at 30 dollars. Correct your spelling
websites
According to an
article by Nikkei newspaper discovered that Change preposition
An
the
shop owners in developing Correct article usage
apply
countries
earned more 150
% incomes through online shopping Change preposition
than 150
last
year. Consequently
, this
globalization trend helps society to create new market
and money.
In conclusion, there are significant positive effects Fix the agreement mistake
markets
due to
globalization. We must enhance this
development for individuals and social
economy.Correct article usage
the social
Submitted by nao.bb0820 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by mentioning potential negative impacts of globalization as well.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your arguments. Some transitions between points can be smoother.
language use
Ensure the use of proper grammar and vocabulary consistently throughout the essay for better clarity.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which summarize the key points effectively.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?