IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both side these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals #side
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A section of society thinks that the vanishing of some flora and fauna is the prominent reason for the problem of the environment.
While
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 other reckons that there are other important issues too. Discussion of both views will be discussed in the Forthcoming paragraphs. Why
is
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are
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 the wildlife and vegetation more important in the ecosystem
.
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?
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 Particular reasons will be cited.
Firstly
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, Plants and animals are part and parcel of nature.Because of that, our food chain goes smoothly. If anyone gets disturbed, everyone will face the issue. As a repercussion,We all are dependent on each other.
On the other hand
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, there are many other environmental problems that are very important. First and foremost, the population are increasing by leaps and bounds.Because of that ,
pollution
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 is increasing rapidly.
People
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 want to travel in their own cars which leads to
Air
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pollution
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.
People
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 are using vehicles for even shirt distances to make their lives easier.
Due to
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this
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, There are so many new diseases related to
air
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 introduced.
People
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 are suffering from that,
people
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 can not breathe fresh
air
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 in
this
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 environment.
Secondly
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, the use of
plastic
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 is rocketing.
People
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 are using
plastic
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 in their everyday life.So, long-lasting
plastic
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 is very expensive, so
people
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 want to use cheaper ones. Which is not good for the environment.Because in order to merge that
plastic
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 into the soil it will take 100 years. Because of
plastic
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, earth
pollution
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 is increasing a lot.
Last
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 but not least,
Water
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pollution
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 is the main reason for
Correct article usage
the
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same diseases which spread because of dirty
water
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.
it
Capitalize word
It
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 happens because of the waste which
people
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 are thrown into the
water
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.All the trash will go into the
water
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 and make it polluted.
Due to
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 that
people
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 have to face so many diseases like; Tiafoid , Diarrhea and so on Agglomerating all the points elaborated above, it can reiterated that, Flora and fauna are important parts of nature.
While
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 in my view other environmental problems are
also
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 very important like; earth
pollution
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,
water
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pollution
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 and
Air
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pollution
Use synonyms
Submitted by faluprajapati257 on

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task response
The essay outlines both viewpoints on the environmental issues but could have been more thorough in addressing all aspects of the question. Make sure each paragraph fully develops your argument with well-supported points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction should be revised to be clearer and more concise, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the discussion and clearly state your opinion.
logical structure
Try to structure your body paragraphs more logically, ensuring each idea flows smoothly into the next. Use transition words to enhance coherence.
task response
The essay makes a genuine attempt to address both sides of the argument and gives a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples such as air pollution due to increased car use and the consequences of plastic waste helps make your points more tangible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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