IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
there are two maps briefing about the present layout of a university's sports centre and the layout after redevelopment. Some parts will remain the same
whereas
 some parts will be added. Both the outdoor courts have been replaced in the new map. At the centre, not much has changed with the receptions, changing room and the seating area being the same.
In contrast
 to the centre of the new layout, a new changing room, sports shop and a large leisure pool
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been added towards the west of the map,
whereas
 the gym north of the 25m pool and sitting area has been extended. To the east of the map, two new dance studios have been added adjacent to each other with a changing room and a fairly spacious sports hall near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. At the front of the building near the reception, a new cafe has been added.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from having a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion of the maps. Consider a brief introductory sentence to set the context, and a concluding sentence to summarize the main changes.
logical structure
Some parts of your essay could use smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow. For example, instead of jumping abruptly between descriptions, you could use transitional phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In comparison.'
complete response
You provided a comprehensive response to the task by describing both the existing layout and the planned changes in detail.
supported main points
Your main points were supported by specific details from the maps, which helped to clearly convey the information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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