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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram illustrates the volume of electricity produced and consumed in ten countries in 2014.

The diagram illustrates the volume of electricity produced and consumed in ten countries in 2014.
the bar chart shows the production and consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
kWh
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 by ten countries in 2014. The highest producer
as well as
Linking Words
 consumer of
electricity
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being
Wrong verb form
is
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china
Capitalize word
China
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whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest producer and consumer of
electricity
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being
Wrong verb form
is
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 Korea. In the list of the ten countries, The first was
china
Capitalize word
China
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 producing and consuming more than 5 trillion
kWh
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 of
electricity
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. Following China, was the United States producing a little more than 4 trillion
kWh
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 and using a little less than 4 trillion
kWh
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 of
electricity
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.
This
Linking Words
 was about 4 times the amount of
electricity
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 produced by the next country, Russia.All the remaining countries produced less than 1
trilliong
Correct your spelling
trillion
kWh
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 of
electricity
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. In conclusion, every
contry
Correct your spelling
country
 produced more
electricity
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 than they consumed except
germany
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Germany
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 which used slightly more. They consumed 582.5 billion
kWh
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 of
electricity
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and only generated 526.6
kWh
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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