Many people nowadays fo not feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons and what can be done to solve this problem?
Growing
number of Add an article
A growing
The growing
people
feel unsafe when they walking
outside. Wrong verb form
walk
Moreover
, some of them have the same feeling at home
either. This
essay will go deeper into this
topic and will try to explain reasons and possible measures to tackle this
problem.
Nowadays, society has beaten the
bunch of natural hazards, Correct article usage
a
such
as wild animals and deseases
. Despite Correct your spelling
diseases
this
, the
humanity faces a lot of new problems. Correct article usage
apply
People
who live in huge cities shoud
accept Correct your spelling
should
with
high population density, traffic, Change preposition
apply
neigbours
and other common problems. Correct your spelling
neighbours
In addition
, in modern
digital era, a lot of Add an article
the modern
a modern
people
have
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
communication skills and some of them are afraid of conflicts, Change preposition
apply
argues
or either Replace the word
arguments
smalltalks
. All these Correct your spelling
tasks
reasons
not so dangerous Add a verb
reasons are
reasons were
lone
but together they can force a person to stay at Correct your spelling
alone
home
as much as possible.
In
the same time, another Change preposition
At
goup
of Correct your spelling
group
people
can be so vulnerable that being at home
des
not help them to feel safe. The media and social networks share a lot of scary news that information was not so widespread before. Earthquakes, poisoned products, bad air and water quality are following us Correct your spelling
does
throught
Correct your spelling
through
Correct article usage
the screen
screen
of our gadgets. Some Fix the agreement mistake
screens
ot
Correct your spelling
of
that
fears are real others are not but some Correct pronoun usage
those
people
believe that everything can happen with
them.
Change preposition
to
To conclude
, statistics shows
that our world is getting safer every year. Correct subject-verb agreement
show
People
live longer, we have less
wars, Change the quantifier
fewer
governments
build better roads and buildings. Correct word choice
and governments
On the other hand
, modern media affects our minds, people
get more mental issues. In my opinion, people
should spend less time behind the screen and try to be a part of local
community. Knowing your neighbours helps you feel safe at Add an article
the local
home
and make some new friends. In some countries like USA
Correct article usage
the USA
people
have strong connections and sometimes, act together to protect their region from danger. The government can also
help people
to feel safe by investing into
police Change preposition
in
officers
knowledge of psychology skills and social advertisements.Change noun form
officers'
officer's
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task achievement
Try to address each part of the question in more detail and provide sufficient examples to support your arguments. For instance, explain more about how governmental actions can enhance safety or provide specific programs or policies.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by ensuring your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use connecting words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. For example, after discussing one issue, use transitions like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' to introduce new points.
general
Work on grammatical accuracy and lexical resource. While small inaccuracies won't drastically lower your score, correcting them can improve the fluidity and professionalism of your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct usage of conjunctions, and proper paragraph structure.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies multiple reasons why people may feel unsafe both at home and outside, showing a good understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion
The introduction sets the stage effectively for the discussion and the conclusion provides a satisfactory summary of the essay’s main points.
task response
There's a good attempt to provide solutions to the problem, with suggestions on how individuals and the government can mitigate feelings of insecurity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.