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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the amount of beef exported in five different countries in 2012, 2014 and 2016. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the amount of beef exported in five different countries in 2012, 2014 and 2016. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The illustrated table gives data about the number of beef transited in five different nations in the
years
Use synonyms
 of 2012, 2014 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in these
years
Use synonyms
 the biggest
count
Correct your spelling
amount
show examples
 of transited
meat
Use synonyms
 was in Brazil,
while
Linking Words
 in Switzerland
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
show examples
 was
complitely
Correct your spelling
completely
 different and
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
 amount of exported
meat
Use synonyms
 was there. In accordance with a table, the largest percentage of
meat
Use synonyms
 transition was in Brazil during these
years
Use synonyms
 and the number of exported
meat
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 125,465
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2012, 130,307
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2014 and 137,650
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
Uruguay
Add a comma
Uruguay,
show examples
 export of
meat
Use synonyms
 was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place, but there were
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 changes over
this
Linking Words
 period from 44,372
tonnes
Use synonyms
 to 39,932
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 to 42,310
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in Japan in these
years
Use synonyms
 wasn't that significant export of
meat
Use synonyms
 starting with 224
tonnes
Use synonyms
 to 633
tonnes
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 1,005
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in Norway
export
Correct article usage
the export
show examples
 of
meat
Use synonyms
 was worse compared with Japan at the beginning 34
tonnes
Use synonyms
 at the middle 81
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and
at the end
Linking Words
 of table 17
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the least exported place was Switzerland with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of 23, 17 and 22
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in these
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, meat, tonnes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export levels
  • fluctuations
  • substantial increase/decrease
  • economic factors
  • trade policies
  • demand
  • comparative analysis
  • notable change
  • consistent trend
  • market share
  • dominant exporter
  • sharp decline/increase
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