Earlier technology development brought more changes to life of ordinary people than the recent technology development do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The scientific innovations that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
long
time ago had more Add an article
a long
values
than the Fix the agreement mistake
value
one
being invented now. In my Correct pronoun usage
ones
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
this
statement is true, because those inventions
had more appliances in day-to-day life, and inventions
happening now are making people
ambitious unnecssarily
.
During the early ages, Correct your spelling
unnecessarily
people
did not have any kind of facilities making
their life easier, which enabled Change the verb form
to make
to
make Correct pronoun usage
them to
such
inventions
more essential in their lives. They were under huge pressure of living
their life without any conveniences as nothing like the phone, aeroplane, Change preposition
to live
machines
, Correct word choice
or machines
nevertheless
,later development of such
invention
definitely eased their regular lives. Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
For example
, globalisation was not even thought about, before scientist
invented Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
aeroplane
, by which Add an article
the aeroplane
people
and goods could be exported and imported, which now is enabling people
to consume it from different parts of the world.
Another reason to agreeing
with the statement is the type of Wrong verb form
agree
inventions
they are making now. Different countries have started making different kind
of weapons including the Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
atom
bomb which can destroy the beautiful world in Replace the word
atomic
few
seconds. Another innovation they discovered is AI which will soon disregard the value of Correct article usage
a few
human
. Those Fix the agreement mistake
humans
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
inventions
are only putting the world in danger which can destroy this
earth in the near future. Lets
take the Palestine war, Replace the word
Let's
Let us
for example
, where everyday
many Replace the word
every day
people
are dying as a result
of the
destructive Correct article usage
apply
inventions
like misaels
and bombs.
In conclusion, the value of recent Correct your spelling
missiles
inventions
are
not as admired as before, because Change the verb form
is
people
can live without these recent inventions
unlike before, and the weapons produced as a result
of those research are distructive
for Correct your spelling
destructive
this
earth.Submitted by sarumanandhar36 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more transition words to clearly connect your ideas. Work on maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Add a stronger introduction that sets up your main points clearly and a conclusion that summarizes them effectively. This will help create a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific and diverse examples that clearly illustrate your main points.
task achievement
Develop each point more comprehensively. You have good ideas, but they could be expanded with more detailed explanation and evidence.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt effectively by taking a clear stance and providing reasons for that stance.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, which helps to reinforce your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite