IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing argument about the Government’s priorities and aims. There are some people who believe that the
system
Use synonyms
 should just focus on economic
growth
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, Others argue that there are many other crucial goals in spite of economic improvement. First and foremost, economic
growth
Use synonyms
 is one of the variables that impact the country’s GDP. when a country’s GDP is high it means that the country has a competent economic and production
system
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 but it doesn’t mean it omitted poverty.
Although
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 the
growth
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 in
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 can lead to other improvements, for analyzing a country’s success there are other indexes which should be revised.
In particular
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, the USA is one of the high-income countries without an efficient environmental conservation
system
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 and with a high amount of human-maid litter.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are people who are of the opinion there are other significant objectives that every government should consider.
Additionally
Linking Words
, governments have 17 objectives which are been called “ Sustainable Development Goals”. Despite the economic progress, environmental conservation, poverty control, educational facilities, proper health care
system
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, etc
that
Correct word choice
apply
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every government ought to work on them to reach sustainable development in every aspect.
For instance
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, Germany’s government is famous not only for its magnificent results in nature protection but
also
Linking Words
 for
profound
Correct article usage
the profound
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 increase in economic KPIs and achieving sustainable development. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am strongly of the opinion that economic
growth
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 is not the only index that governments should observe and there are other progresses that are adequately important.
As well as
Linking Words
 economic
growth
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, education, environmental and other indicators are crucial to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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 a country and people's wealth.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues to improve clarity.
evidence
Try to provide more specific examples and relevant data to strengthen your arguments.
cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to ensure seamless transitions.
balance
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
summary
The conclusion aligns with the introduction and provides a strong summary of the main points discussed.
examples
The use of real-world examples, such as Germany and the USA, helps to contextualize the arguments presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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