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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
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Many are of the view that going to
university
Use synonyms
 provides the most effective method for getting a reputable
job
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, others believe that having valuable experience and
skills
Use synonyms
 holds greater value. In my opinion, the synthesis of both of them is a coherent decision. On the one hand, some people completely suggest that passing
university
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 is the finest path in order to get a nice
job
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, they spend much time learning theoretical
skills
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 and reading others' experiences. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 would be Nicola Tesla who had a nice
job
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, he immersed himself in books and went to distinct universities,
due to
Linking Words
 discovering electricity and expanding it
as well as
Linking Words
 inventing some formulas he became one of the affluent men and was manager of several companies, next he spent all of his money in order to discover and invent something else.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 going to
university
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 and being a knowledgeable person can be a benefit, it is not surely, because, you should find a
job
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that is
Linking Words
 relevant to your area of specialization.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having valuable experience and devoting time to learning interactive
skills
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 can be more effective,
instead
Linking Words
 of going to college,
such
Linking Words
 as body language, how to communicate and how to be successful in a trade discussion. There are countless examples of individuals who do not go to
university
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 and have a good
job
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 even if they have a powerful authority. A striking example of
this
Linking Words
 is Richard Branson. He didn’t go to
university
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, In fact, he resigned from the school, and
then
Linking Words
 he founded over 100 companies in order to trade. He found that he had a good ability to establish a close bond and communicate with others,
instead
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 of studying and going to
university
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. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
Linking Words
 essay, you need to weigh up both viewpoints to realize what kind of them is suitable for you. It seems to me that having a synthesis of a college certificate and playing a role as an apprentice and getting experience and
skills
Use synonyms
 is a coherent decision rather than choosing one of them, they are fundamental equally.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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Structure
Try to maintain a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay, making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
Clarity
To improve clarity, focus on sticking to one idea per paragraph and avoid overloading paragraphs with too many ideas.
Sentence Variation & Transitions
Using more varied sentence structures and transitions can enhance the flow of your essay and keep the reader engaged.
Grammar & Accuracy
Be cautious of small grammatical errors and strive for accuracy to ensure the meaning is clear and precise.
Examples & Evidence
Incorporating more specific examples and evidence could strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay excellently discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarises your argument, clearly stating your opinion as a synthesis of both viewpoints.
Use of Examples
You've successfully used some relevant examples to support your arguments, such as Nikola Tesla and Richard Branson, which adds credibility and interest to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
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