The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

#town #garlsdon #supermarket #two #sites

This

is the map of a

town

by the name of Garlsdon.

This

map shows the two possible places where a supermarket can be created. The first

place

is in the countryside area which is a little far away from houses and the

town

centre.

However

, the

second

place

is in the

town

centre surrounded by industrial areas

also

there is a railway nearby. The first

place

is 12 km far away from Hindon where the population is 10,000

also

it is very away from the houses of people.

In addition

, there is a main road and a railway track that covers

this

site.

On the other hand

, the

second

site is surrounded by an industrial area.It is near the area where there are many homes. It is very close to Bransdon which is only 16 km and 15000 people live there.

whereas

Cransdon

town

is 25 km away with a population of 29000.The

second

site where

this

store is being planned is located in no traffic zone because it is a city centre.People can easily approach

this

second

place

because it is closer to society.

Submitted by Saad Kamal on Thu Aug 22 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, place, second with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Accessibility
Congestion
Economic benefits
Environmental impact
Foot traffic
Green space
Job creation
Local property values
Parking availability
Pollution
Proximity
Public transportation
Sustainability
Traffic patterns
Residential areas
Shopping convenience

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The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

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some people believe that taxing is best way to reduce the industrial pollution.While some suggest there are several other ways to solve this trouble. Discuss both the views and give you opinion.

Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think it is a positive change, however others think of it as a negative change. What do you think?