The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The most considerable approach for the upcoming years is to enhance the skills of the young
generation
. I,
believe Remove the comma
apply
this
is an optimum method for young kids to prevent them from crimes and involve them in productive activities for their future and nations too.
First and foremost, in the formative years, young minds are easy to bend and can remember things for alonger
time. Young Correct word choice
a long
people
are also
adaptable, hence
investment in them can boost overall
personality of a person and Add an article
the overall
also
such
people
can be proven as investments of
a nation. They are more enthusiastic and energetic and are always keen to learn new things. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, young people
are becoming tech-savvy these days as since childhood instead
of playing traditional games they start playing with electronic gadgets like mobile phones and computers. Hence
, introducing them to the world of technology is not a hurdle to cross as compared to the old people
.
Additionally
, devoting crucial steps in
the growth of youngsters appears to be not only Change preposition
to
benefical
for them but Correct your spelling
beneficial
also
for the future generation
. Also
, it causes a reduction in juvenile crime as learning new skills keeps them engaged in better ways. Their ability of leaning
skills and Correct your spelling
learning
comrehensive
approach Correct your spelling
comprehensive
is
can be the major cause to invest in them. Unnecessary verb
apply
Such
steps forsters
personal development and economic growth. The most substantial problem can be coped with Correct your spelling
fosters
this
that is
unemployment. Neglecting investment in them can lead to a waste of potential as they are more creative and intentive
.
Correct your spelling
inventive
To conclude
, investment in young
Correct article usage
the young
generation
brings out the best of them in right
manner for them and Add an article
the right
future
of a nation. Growth statistics show a huge gap who work with the young Correct article usage
the future
generation
and those who haven't.Submitted by simranjit2598 on
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coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in the essay, which can be improved to enhance readability. For instance, 'I,believe this is an optimum method for young kids to prevent them from crimes...' could be rephrased to 'I believe this is the best method to prevent young kids from engaging in criminal activities...'.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and relevant to the topic. However, providing more specific examples or case studies could strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific programs or policies that have successfully supported young people could add more depth to your analysis.
task achievement
You have made a succinct and relevant argument regarding the importance of investing in young people for future growth and crime reduction. This is aligned well with the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are laid out coherently and logically.
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