The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most considerable approach for the upcoming years is to enhance the skills of the young
generation
. I
,
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apply
show examples
believe
this
is an optimum method for young kids to prevent them from crimes and involve them in productive activities for their future and nations too. First and foremost, in the formative years, young minds are easy to bend and can remember things for
alonger
Correct word choice
a long
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time. Young
people
are
also
adaptable,
hence
investment in them can boost
overall
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the overall
show examples
personality of a person and
also
such
people
can be proven as investments
of
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in
show examples
a nation. They are more enthusiastic and energetic and are always keen to learn new things.
Moreover
, young
people
are becoming tech-savvy these days as since childhood
instead
of playing traditional games they start playing with electronic gadgets like mobile phones and computers.
Hence
, introducing them to the world of technology is not a hurdle to cross as compared to the old
people
.
Additionally
, devoting crucial steps
in
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to
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the growth of youngsters appears to be not only
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for them but
also
for the future
generation
.
Also
, it causes a reduction in juvenile crime as learning new skills keeps them engaged in better ways. Their ability of
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
skills and
comrehensive
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comprehensive
approach
is
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apply
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can be the major cause to invest in them.
Such
steps
forsters
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fosters
show examples
personal development and economic growth. The most substantial problem can be coped with
this
that is
unemployment. Neglecting investment in them can lead to a waste of potential as they are more creative and
intentive
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inventive
show examples
.
To conclude
, investment in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
brings out the best of them in
right
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the right
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manner for them and
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
of a nation. Growth statistics show a huge gap who work with the young
generation
and those who haven't.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in the essay, which can be improved to enhance readability. For instance, 'I,believe this is an optimum method for young kids to prevent them from crimes...' could be rephrased to 'I believe this is the best method to prevent young kids from engaging in criminal activities...'.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and relevant to the topic. However, providing more specific examples or case studies could strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific programs or policies that have successfully supported young people could add more depth to your analysis.
task achievement
You have made a succinct and relevant argument regarding the importance of investing in young people for future growth and crime reduction. This is aligned well with the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are laid out coherently and logically.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • entrepreneurship
  • demographics
  • socioeconomic
  • civic engagement
  • leadership
  • sustainable development
  • preventative measures
  • infrastructure
  • global competitiveness
  • skill development
  • vocational training
  • public policy
  • social welfare
  • human capital
  • technological literacy
  • inclusive growth
  • long-term planning
  • fiscal responsibility
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