You recently went to a movie theate to enjoy a movie, but unfortunately, you left your jacket there. Write a letter to manager of the movie theater about the jacket. In your letter, •describe the jacket •describe where you were seated •explain what you want the manager to do about it.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am one of your loyal visitors who often came
in
Change preposition
to
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your
theatre
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
incident never happened before, but
this
Linking Words
time when I came I left my
jacket
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in your
theatre
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. So now, I am writing to ask you to find my
jacket
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. I always come
watching
Change the verb form
to watch
show examples
Use synonyms
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
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to
Change preposition
at
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your
theatre
Use synonyms
with my friends and my family.
Last
Linking Words
week, I
came
Verb problem
went
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there with my friends.
While
Linking Words
We were watching a
movie
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, we had a great time. Because we love
this
Linking Words
movie
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. Suddenly, my phone rang, when we were watching a film. My mother told me that I go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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home and I went soon. I remembered to
left
Wrong verb form
leave
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my
jacket
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which is white and long in your
theatre
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. I always like to sit
a
Change preposition
in a
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seat that
near
Add a missing verb
is near
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to scene. So
last
Linking Words
week I sat on the 10th seat of the first row. We ate popcorn
during
Correct word choice
while
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we were watching
Use synonyms
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
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. Actually, I would like you
find
Add the particle
to find
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my
jacket
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. Because
,
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apply
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it was given as a gift to me by my grandmother
so
Correct word choice
apply
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it is valuable for me. If you don't find my
jacket
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, you will give me free a ticket for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
movie
Use synonyms
. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Lily.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The letter could benefit from a clearer logical structure and separating each topic into distinct paragraphs. Try to avoid jumping between ideas. For example, describe the movie experience and then describe the jacket in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate but some phrases could be more formal. Replace 'I went soon' with 'I left promptly' and 'you will give me free a ticket' with 'I would appreciate a complimentary ticket' if the jacket cannot be found.
task achievement
The letter meets the task requirements by describing the jacket, where you sat, and what action you want the manager to take.
coherence cohesion
You included a suitable greeting and closing which adds to the formal tone of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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