You recently went to a movie theate to enjoy a movie, but unfortunately, you left your jacket there. Write a letter to manager of the movie theater about the jacket. In your letter, •describe the jacket •describe where you were seated •explain what you want the manager to do about it.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am one of your loyal visitors who often came
in
your Change preposition
to
theatre
. This
incident never happened before, but this
time when I came I left my jacket
in your theatre
. So now, I am writing to ask you to find my jacket
.
I always come watching
Change the verb form
to watch
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
to
your Change preposition
at
theatre
with my friends and my family. Last
week, I came
there with my friends. Verb problem
went
While
We were watching a movie
, we had a great time. Because we love this
movie
. Suddenly, my phone rang, when we were watching a film. My mother told me that I go to
home and I went soon. I remembered to Remove the preposition
apply
left
my Wrong verb form
leave
jacket
which is white and long in your theatre
.
I always like to sit a
seat that Change preposition
in a
near
to scene. So Add a missing verb
is near
last
week I sat on the 10th seat of the first row. We ate popcorn during
we were watching Correct word choice
while
movie
.
Actually, I would like you Add an article
a movie
the movie
find
my Add the particle
to find
jacket
. Because,
it was given as a gift to me by my grandmother Remove the comma
apply
so
it is valuable for me. If you don't find my Correct word choice
apply
jacket
, you will give me free a ticket for next
Correct article usage
the next
movie
.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Lily.Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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coherence cohesion
The letter could benefit from a clearer logical structure and separating each topic into distinct paragraphs. Try to avoid jumping between ideas. For example, describe the movie experience and then describe the jacket in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate but some phrases could be more formal. Replace 'I went soon' with 'I left promptly' and 'you will give me free a ticket' with 'I would appreciate a complimentary ticket' if the jacket cannot be found.
task achievement
The letter meets the task requirements by describing the jacket, where you sat, and what action you want the manager to take.
coherence cohesion
You included a suitable greeting and closing which adds to the formal tone of the letter.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite